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December 6th, 2009

Ian’s Christmas Party

Weren’t there? Well now you can be. Here is the 384 word version of what happened through the eyes of someone who was there but also in some ways wasn’t. Let’s start from the briefest of beginnings:

“I started off early. It was only 5pm and I’m buying a bottle of Jack Daniels, walking briskly through the streets and by coincidence I bump into the three guys from work I was looking for. They’re in a rush to get to the World Cup draw – I’m following because I’m not the person with a room at the hotel.

Inside and the bottle of Jack is gone in about an hour and a half, and that’s me taking it slowly. The room isn’t whirling but my balance has been compromised. They get ready and I sit feeling slightly under-dressed in my dark blue t-shirt, grey jeans and steampunk goggles.

I don’t remember how we got to the ground floor but it must have been the lift. I get outside and meet the people from my team – they can tell I’ve been drinking if not from the smell then surely by the slightly slurred speech and red cheeks. Inside moves quickly. Between initial hellos the first course is brought and I’m ordered to drink my soup. I think I had a conversation with my boss that made her feel slightly uncomfortable. I pretend I ordered the chicken and tuck in. I hope whoever got my beef is enjoying it.

There is a blur and an empty space where the desserts should be.

Plenty of dancing wildly to various guff the DJ plays. I drink some more, red wine from the bottle, occasionally handing it to my now equally drunk friend. I make out one of the senior partners in the middle of the floor. A lot of people stand around the side probably too afraid to chance it. I don’t really care anymore and continue drinking until I am in a delirious state of bewilderment. My steampunk goggles seem to be popular and disappear for half an hour.

When the f*ck did they serve the desserts?

It’s approaching the end. The last five hours obviously weren’t long enough. No amount of sensible behaviour and coffee will bring this yuletide bender to an end. After another hour of drinking alcohol other people have been kind enough to buy me I feel too distanced from the rest of the crowd and make my own disappearance into the night. I’m home in twenty-five minutes.”

Entry Filed under: Bedtime stories,Great,Ian