Logical Dreamscape
April 6th, 2010
Okay, so I had some oranges before I went to bed last night. I can only presume this is why I had such strange dreams. It was as follows:
“I was back in Garforth and I was on my way to see alt-Americana heroes My Morning Jacket who were playing up towards Castleford. Instead of getting a lift or catching the bus I jumped on a lorry which was going in the same direction, and who should be driving the lorry but Josh Homme and the rest of the Queens of the Stone Age. I hid at the back, not wanting to get in the way, and when we eventually got to the venue through what seemed like acres and acres of winding roads I immediately ran up to Mr Homme and asked if I could buy a vinyl copy of their last album ‘Era Vulgaris’. What he was clutching, however, was a vinyl copy of their second album pressed between three other records I couldn’t make out. He told me that he was saving this for someone else and disappeared inside.
The venue must have been a barn or something, albeit one with a tiny stage at the front and a small bar with merchandise at the back. I asked if they had any copies of ‘Era Vulgaris’ but unfortunately they did not. I then realised I had lost my ticket but as I was already inside didn’t worry about that fact too much. Noel Fielding was there. I asked to buy a small Dime bar to use as a comedy moustache and after much badgering the brunette behind the bar agreed to sell this to me because she was tired of my conversation.”
Then I woke up. I can understand about the Dime Bar but not much else. Both of you have degrees in Dreamology; what does it mean?
Entry Filed under: Chris,Ian,Kev,Look at this
9 Comments
1. Chris | April 6th, 2010 at 09:59
The record you wanted was in between other records that you couldn’t make out. This indicates a yearning for your lost childhood and a deep-seated subconscious desire to reconnect with your bolder, less detail-obsessed masculine side. In short it means you’re gay.
2. Kevil | April 7th, 2010 at 11:58
You’re clearly beef deficient. Eat more steaks.
3. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | April 8th, 2010 at 07:37
I tried eating three steaks in a row but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t cry the hot, beefy man gravy tears I was looking for.
I wouldn’t say I was gay more fancy free. Just because I’ve never searched for Lynda Bellingham in google doesn’t mean I’m totally footloose ye nah.
4. Kevil | April 12th, 2010 at 14:43
Try six steaks, half the size.
5. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | April 13th, 2010 at 17:46
But surely sir that would only decapitalise the equilibrient level of beef entering my system
6. Chris | April 25th, 2010 at 07:23
Have you considered calling the gay helpline for advice about how and when to come out to your family and friends? You could eat steak while listening to the hold music.
7. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | April 25th, 2010 at 20:10
That’s true. Whilst on hold to NHS direct this morn I ate three loins of pork before anyone with a pulse spoke. It was highly ineffective when balanced against my need for human interaction involving meat.
8. Chris | April 26th, 2010 at 14:08
You see you, right? What you, as in you, need, right, is some actual friends. Then you, you see you, right, you, you wouldn’t have to call the NHS helpline everytime you, as in you, want to talk to someone.
9. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | April 29th, 2010 at 07:35
I can talk to whoever I want. I did go through a phase when I stalked the speaking clock but in the end it just wasn’t made to be. I started seeing its face everywhere, even though it doesn’t have one. I gave the speaking clock a face. Me.