Saint King here, King of the Saints and all their Saintly Behaviour.
I hear the magical camera of wonder has passed unto the hands of Kevin Head. Please confirm that you are duly taking pictures the likes of which the world has never seen.
12 comments July 30th, 2007
This is a small note for the, ahem, two or three fellows who might care. I’ve moved out and into a new address with a friend from work 🙂 the address is as follows:
21 Bewick Road
Wallsend
Tyne and Wear
NE28 6SH
Don’t worry about Mr. Smith and anything else that may have been sent recently though as all corresponding mail from my previous address will be handed over to me. Obviously.
16 comments July 17th, 2007
Let’s have a quick round-up as we discover what the chuff is going on in the crazy world of the Saint King and his personal army of minions…
Task One – Letters to Emily
Unfortunately it appears as though the person Ian is writing to either doesn’t care, hasn’t received the letters or reads them and is so enfactuated with him that she barely breathes until the next one is posted through her letterbox. This writer cannot confirm which one it is. Here’s a thing; none of the letters have been returned so they must be somewhere. Just as no reply as been received also no letter asking him to stop. All we need is some sort of acknowledge.
Task 2 – Death of Daisy
Not much better news on this next task. After careful consideration, and some not so carefult handiwork with a screwdriver (just kidding), Kevin has decided that she is beyond repair. This is a dark day for such news as it also means that the Saint King’s sister project, ‘The Mackford Files’, will have to be put on hold until a suitable replacement for Daisy can be found. Don’t worry dear boy, you did all you could.
Task Three – Pictures of bitches
With the camera still in the capable hands of Marshall we all eagerly await when it can be passed on to Kevin to continue the task. There is no time limit for this and as previously stated the photos can be of anything you like… as long as they’re to do with you. Feel the pool of you within you and dive in. Or something like that.
15 comments July 10th, 2007
Now here’s a curious little oddity.
I just typed ‘Roman Polanski’ into ebay and an item came up for only 99p. It’s a DVD and it’s brand new so it sounds like a good deal and the only downside is that the item is pick up only. It’s being sold from South Korea.
What makes the person think that anyone from the UK, using the UK version of ebay, will hop on a plane, go all the way across to South Korea just to hand over 99p (probably not in pennies) for a DVD?
I think this person is secretly trying to recruit members for some sort of tribute band to rival the other tribute bands and blow them away. You lure them in with cheap DVDs thousands of miles away and then, whoosh, suddenly you’re stood with a bass looking like that one from Def Leppard.
Never talk to strangers kids. Word out.
13 comments July 4th, 2007
FINALLY! The third part of my master plan can be put into practise. The pitter patter of pitiful pennies are dangling in my back account and therefore we can proceed. As Kevin finishes off dealing with Daisy the Dictaphone and I am continually writing to Miss Emily Brown the third task is passed onto Chris.
It will eventually involve all three of us but Chris, my dear boy, you are to start it off. I shall be sending you a camera in the post very soon. Contained in that little plastic box of black is about twenty-six possible pictures. I think. Your job is to take nine pictures. They can be nine pictures of anything you like. It could be things at work, you with Friya, random objects in your flat, it doesn’t matter. When you have taken said pictures the camera will be passed to Kevin, and then myself who will pay for them to be developed. Copies will be sent on so we can all see what each other has been crazy enough to take their time to take photos of.
Sound good? Well if it doesn’t you cant go listen to Bloc Party. Shiny shiny, shiny boots of leather…
23 comments June 26th, 2007
Hey!
I just realised something. In my quest to find Office Four I was trying to think of other places in Leeds and Newcastle where it could be… and it was staring right in my FACE the whole time. Gentlemen, surely www.pouringbeans.com is the fourth office?
10 comments May 24th, 2007
BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHTY WHYBIRD!
Here’s a little song to accompany her wonderful magnificence
Whybird, Whybird
Why are you a bird?
Did you know I was heard
Someone call you a turd?
I hit them Whybird
I hit them for you
How dare they compare
You to a poo
So you only live on in our memories
It’s better than never at all
This picture honours your presence
Load up the Whytech mother fucker!
The End
5 comments March 27th, 2007
In preparation for ‘Silly Bint of the Month’ I decided to type ‘Silly Bint’ into Google image search and this is what came out. Thing is he doesn’t look silly or bintish which makes me wonder why he appeared in the first place. It’s a mystery…
Do we have any nominations? After reading the Metro this morning I think a strong candidate would be Paris Hilton who managed to run out of petrol for her car THREE times in the same day. What a woofer!
5 comments January 8th, 2007
It’s half past one and you’re listening to Mack Mackford on the graveyard slot of Mack FM. I’ll be here for the next two hours or so entertaining you with the best late night jazz, rock and anything else that takes my fancy.
The New Year has just taken effect so no doubt people will either be passed out, sheltering from the wild winds or just generally sleeping given the time. I can’t sleep, or at least that’s the impression I’m giving when really I’m forcing myself to stay awake 🙂 it happens. Here’s a little number from CCR kicking us off with ‘Bad Moon Rising’. Take it away…
*TWANGY*
4 comments January 1st, 2007
Kev, two things really. One, where’s the box for the Mackford Files three and four? I’m pretty sure I sent them with he dictaphone 🙂 secondly who on earth are you describing here:
“The only thing she ever did was sit in the back of an army truck and let her hair get set on fire by some motorbike in some bizarre military tattoo thing!”
The mind boggles.
2 comments December 30th, 2006