Eating Malteasers

I managed to put 32 malteasers in my mouth at the same time. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Jim!

4 comments August 8th, 2006

Where is everybody?

Just as the school’s fall out, the day’s are longer and the buses are emptier where is everyone? This website is as dead as Sunny D!

I stole this from work: it’s a pad of paper. But you can’t see it and I left it at home.

8 comments July 24th, 2006

Locker Check – Number 29

Date: 24th July 2006
Time: 12:30
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead (sort of)

Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Added a pair of headphones, a sticker promoting the new Pipettes album and a pen with a lions head on it I was given at Christmas. Was tempted to drop said pen in the Quayside on the way over but prevented myself from doing so. Was amused ‘Erudite…’ was still propped up after last time. Left with no complications.

Random thought: Sun brings heat. Clouds bring rain. Moon brings dark. What does Noel Edmonds bring?

2 comments July 24th, 2006

Locker Check – Number 29

Date: 16th July 2006
Time: 14:05
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead/Newcastle Upon Tyne (ha har!)

Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Added two bags whilst looked at work of Erwin Wurm with four other humans including one child. Took bags back at the end of it. Previously added ‘Erudite Musings on the Human Condition’ had fallen over again and refused to stand up again. Propped against side of locker again. Will expect it to happen again. Re-adjusted baltic leaflets so in line. Left with no complications.

Random thought: If you had a pink flamingo what you would call it?

3 comments July 16th, 2006

Locker Check – Number 29

Date: 7th July 2006
Time: 13:45
Location: The Baltic, Newcastle Upon Tyne

Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Added 7 inch vinyl of some bollocks band nobody cares about. Previously added ‘Erudite Musings on the Human Condition’ had fallen over and refused to stand up. Propped against side of locker. Vinyl propped against the back of locker. Left with no complications.

Random thought: I used to work with a man called Hue Rae. I kid ye not.

5 comments July 8th, 2006

More

This page needs more randomicity

Shave my lemons, leggings for the man with no hens, furnish my chops with a set of lovely hammers then run until your eyes go askew and your nails rips holes in the Ozone layer:

 

I got this when I typed in ‘random’ in Google.

I think my lemons need a good shave. Poor man with no hens 🙁

July 7th, 2006

Anne Frank – wtf?

So, she hid from the Nazis in a cupboard or something didn’t she? And she kept a diary didn’t she? So… did she write the diary in the cupboard? If so could anyone actually read it? I remember the time I was in a cupboard at school with two other people, eating lunch and that, and when I came out what I’d written was all skew-iff!

Did she have some special pen light?

4 comments July 7th, 2006

My eggs

You see me right?
I have eggs.
These are MY eggs.
You know what I’m doing with them?
I’m putting them all in a basket.
MY BASKET!
I have the right to put them all there.
If they all break then I can go f*ck right off.
But the bottom line is they’re MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
………
MINE!

7 comments July 5th, 2006

First one! Back first! Writing! Like I’m singing!

Being that I, supreme being and ruler of many galaxies, can write now that Kev and Marshall, sorry, Steven and James are currently snuggled up in a travelodge across the road from where I work I can say:

Splippy boing thing!

That’s the first thing that came to mind

7 comments July 3rd, 2006

Feeder are rubbish

Can I just say that Feeder suck ass so much that even if they brush their teeth a million times a day and wash their mouthes out with cider they can still taste the shit.

  That is all.

9 comments June 25th, 2006