She’s a bit fit (but the musics shit)

May 13th, 2008

Welcome to the newest article to hit the shores of Beans Island. It’s sort of a sisterly accompanyment to the ‘Silly Bint of the Month’ but with fresh ideas and more longevity… actually that’s a lie because I’ve only managed to think of a couple of people who this might apply to. Nonetheless it’s never kept a good man down, head to the ground, keep the ground hit running fast nicely.

Today I wish to discuss current NME-w*nk act the Ting Tings. They’ve been hyped to buggery and to be honest their music is about as catchy as a peppercorn in a tuxedo. Everyone is wetting themselves about this “band”, because I use the term very loosely, and I can’t see the appeal OTHER than the fact that Katie White is quite attractive. Erm, not judging by the photo on wikipedia though (it borders on munterly). It’s best if we put that one to one side. I personally resent most songs that include the term DJ because it’s a lazy thing to do. Yeah come on DJ, play that song DJ, make me dance DJ, it’s hardly Shakespeare and even if Shakespeare knew what a DJ was I expect he could have written a better song. Let’s take a look at lyrics to previous single ‘Great DJ’.

“Imagine all the girls,
Ah ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
And the boys,
Ah ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
And the strings,
Eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee.
And the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums”

And so on, grand! I hope that they die a slow death. Peace out.

Entry Filed under: Ian,Think about it

17 Comments

  • 1. Kevil  |  May 14th, 2008 at 09:25

    Thats not my name, thats not my name, thats not my name, thats not my name.

    Toss wank… and shes not fit.

  • 2. Chris  |  May 14th, 2008 at 10:44

    I think you’ll find it goes:

    That’s not my name
    That’s not my name
    That’s not my name
    That’s not my
    Name

    Is that by the Ting-a-lings? Both of them sound shoddy. No idea if they are fit though, as I have no eyes for music.

  • 3. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 14th, 2008 at 17:04

    Your eyes should get musicky because otherwise the other senses will lose out. Shod + eyes = bad. Music + eyes = funktastic.

    Toss wank yes, but I’m afraid she is a bit of a fittie.

  • 4. Chris  |  May 14th, 2008 at 21:58

    I have investigated them with my eyes and can declare that on the Marshall scale of fitness, she ranks a middling “adequate”. She’s got nice legs, but there’s something about her face that I’m just not sure about, and I don’t know what it is.

    I watched the videos to a couple of their songs on YooChoob, and while all their videos appear to be shitey dancing in front of shite backgrounds that were drawn in Paint, I now like the “That’s Not My Name” song. I can’t find any other song by them that even remotely tickles my fancy though.

    Perhaps it’s a passing virus and it’ll be gone in a couple of days. I should get plenty of rest.

  • 5. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 15th, 2008 at 09:10

    I would suggest taking a dose of Queens of the Stone Age four times a day for the next three weeks just to be sure. Get it out of your system.

    I appreciate the comments from fellow beansters though. It’s grand that we don’t agree on everything (Apprentice is sh*t).

  • 6. Kevil  |  May 15th, 2008 at 10:02

    I would also suggest you spend a bit of time looking at NME. This may seem odd, but if you apply Ian’s theory to this, you should instantly and without remorse, hate everyone who is mentioned inside.

    Oh and despise any band who are a commercial success or who have more than two albums.

    Musical Bile.

  • 7. Chris  |  May 15th, 2008 at 15:03

    Everyone knows that ALL MUSICIANS are SHIT after their first album, and if anyone at all has ever heard of them outside the hallowed portals of Piccadilly Records in Manchester (I’ve been in there a few times, by the way, and it’s shit) then they have SOLD OUT and aren’t worth thinking about any more.

    Everyone knows that.

  • 8. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 19th, 2008 at 08:10

    Hey I can be fair, sometimes when they get past their first album they’re still worth knowing. You might occasionally pick up their limited edition hand-numbered, hand-painted, one of only 500 in the world first single on seven inch vinyl and think, “One day I could possibly play this, but until now it must remain in mint condition!”

  • 9. Chris  |  May 19th, 2008 at 11:08

    I never think that.

  • 10. Kevil  |  May 19th, 2008 at 12:36

    Never ever. Whats vinyl? Is that what mp3’s come in?

  • 11. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 19th, 2008 at 17:21

    Vinyl is what music came on before audio cassette.

  • 12. Chris  |  May 20th, 2008 at 11:24

    Oh, like a piano.

  • 13. Kevil  |  May 20th, 2008 at 12:07

    Why would you want something so old? It must be rubbish. or it wouldn’t have been replaced my better more moden things.

  • 14. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 20th, 2008 at 12:51

    Clearly nostalgia is lost on Kevin.

  • 15. Chris  |  May 21st, 2008 at 13:27

    MP3s don’t get warped or scratched.

    But then neither do pianos, so I don’t know what I’m saying really.

    This will annoy you though: I bought that Ting-a-ding-dings single the other day. *sings* That’s not my name! That’s not my name! That’s not my name! That’s not my…

    Name!

  • 16. Kevil  |  May 22nd, 2008 at 11:29

    Marshall… You Suck. Good day to you sir.

  • 17. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 23rd, 2008 at 12:31

    You see you, right, you shouldn’t be allowed money if that is what you are going to waste your hard-earned pennies on. In fact I shall now force you to buy the original, limited edition seven inch of that single just to prove a point and make you waste another £30.00.

    It’s a hard lesson to learn son 😛

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