Wobbly Dog Rant
I want Wobbly Dog, I want Flat Kitty…
I want Wobbly Dog, I want Flat Kitty…
(Altogether now)
10 comments August 22nd, 2006
Posts filed under 'Things'
Locker Check – Number 29
Date: 18th August 2006
Time: 13:15
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead (give or take)
Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Having previously been sent a pencil, a blue paperclip and an old Christmas card from Noony obsessionist Sarah Jolly it was unfortunate that the pencil was left at home and therefore will have to wait until the next visit. I placed the paperclip inbetween the red and the yellow for some witty banter with the Christmas card towards the back. I also left two elastic bands in an erotic position across the top of the two Baltic leaflets from a previous expedition. Left with no complications. The weather was shit and made my hair go crazy wild. Thought a lot about apples.
Random thought: The offer is still open for that game. Also, I think I need a pet. Lemons are good but what about the citric melancholia? Any recommendations?
8 comments August 18th, 2006
Locker Check – Number 29
Date: 9th August 2006
Time: 13:35
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead (sort of)
Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Has been at least two weeks since my last visit and still untouched by human hands. Added two paperclips, one red and one yellow, in the right corner closest to the door. Left with no complications. Was serenaded by a man and his banjo playing a curious cover of ‘All I have to do is Dream’ by the Everley Brothers but sort of in a West Country accent. The weather was swift and breezy like my hair.
Random thought: Give me £100 to buy a rare game from America. You know you want to… or do you?
7 comments August 9th, 2006
Eating Malteasers
I managed to put 32 malteasers in my mouth at the same time. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Jim!
4 comments August 8th, 2006
Locker Check – Number 29
Date: 24th July 2006
Time: 12:30
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead (sort of)
Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Added a pair of headphones, a sticker promoting the new Pipettes album and a pen with a lions head on it I was given at Christmas. Was tempted to drop said pen in the Quayside on the way over but prevented myself from doing so. Was amused ‘Erudite…’ was still propped up after last time. Left with no complications.
Random thought: Sun brings heat. Clouds bring rain. Moon brings dark. What does Noel Edmonds bring?
2 comments July 24th, 2006
Locker Check – Number 29
Date: 16th July 2006
Time: 14:05
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead/Newcastle Upon Tyne (ha har!)
Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Added two bags whilst looked at work of Erwin Wurm with four other humans including one child. Took bags back at the end of it. Previously added ‘Erudite Musings on the Human Condition’ had fallen over again and refused to stand up again. Propped against side of locker again. Will expect it to happen again. Re-adjusted baltic leaflets so in line. Left with no complications.
Random thought: If you had a pink flamingo what you would call it?
3 comments July 16th, 2006
The Book of Power
It’s here.
You’ve all been waiting for it and now it has arrived…
Its…
Erudite Musings on the Human Condition (With Slags)
And its in lovely pdf format sized at only 1.07Mb
Enjoy.
6 comments July 9th, 2006
Locker Check – Number 29
Date: 7th July 2006
Time: 13:45
Location: The Baltic, Newcastle Upon Tyne
Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Added 7 inch vinyl of some bollocks band nobody cares about. Previously added ‘Erudite Musings on the Human Condition’ had fallen over and refused to stand up. Propped against side of locker. Vinyl propped against the back of locker. Left with no complications.
Random thought: I used to work with a man called Hue Rae. I kid ye not.
5 comments July 8th, 2006