Newsboost Zoom Flume – Snow-Things Wrong With London

January 14th, 2010

The onslaught from the severe weather that has hit the country within the last 28 days has been immense. There have been schools closed, roads paved with ice, power shortages, electrical problems, endless panic buying, people pushed to their limits. It has been the the freeziest and worst December / January for a long time.

Luckily London has not been affected by any of this. We spoke to fashion guru and local MP Quaff for the reasons behind this.

“London is the centre of everything. Everything revolves around London. I have always lived in London because London has always been here, for me and for many others. If I were to leave London it would only be to travel around the world and return to London, on the same flight, possibly the same plane, so London would have a fresher taste when I gazed upon her sweet, sweet enclosures.”

5 minutes later.

“London is as London does. You think you’ve done something new? You think you’ve found something undiscovered? No. No you haven’t. London has discovered it first. That’s what it’s called Lon-done. It’s done, all done. London did it before you. Don’t try to steal it from London!”

Another 5 minutes later.

“So you see, it comes back to London. Everyone comes back to London. She is the sweetest flower in the pack, the tastiest bone in the kennel, the juciest plumbs in the meadow. Nobody owns London, London owns you. But she doesn’t own Quaff though, at least I don’t think so. Perhaps she does. There is a part of me in London that will never leave…”

(For the full 87 hour interview please contact Mack Mackford at Mackmackford@mackfordtowers.co.uk)

Entry Filed under: God damn poetry,Great,Ian