Webtat
Relive the glory here!
…that’s all I have to say.
4 comments May 23rd, 2006
Archive for May, 2006
Bees and bees and some more bees and eyes
Can I just add a little something?
 *Quite clearly shouting* THERE’S NO ROOM FOR MY FACE!
7 comments May 22nd, 2006
Spinny Thing
I know I am a girl and girls smell bad but I wanted to share my spinny thing. Stare at the centre for a while then look at something else.Spinny Thing.exe
6 comments May 22nd, 2006
Goodbye, Stanley…
From the Perry Bible Fellowship, an internet comic that’s so damn good it gets printed in the Guardian on Fridays! Hooray!
http://cheston.com/pbf/archive.html
1 comment May 22nd, 2006
English Weather and Incompetant Bafoons: A Rant by Kev
As a country we are not known for our fantastic weather, you do not hear the sun drenched chaps of southern france saying “You know what I fed up of the weather round here, lets visit England”, and do you know why? Because our weather sucks.
Now we’ve established that it should be fair to assume that as a nation we should be used to bad weather and especially rain. Lots of rain. It rains lots here (Unless you live down south, hee hee standpipes), its cold and generally not reet gud. Soooo. On to the point. Why… when it rains do England’s roads grind to a horrible depressing standstill??? The reason for this rant as you may have guessed is because i have just been caught in such a situation. This morning it took me 65 minutes, (thats a whole 5 minutes more than an hour!), to make a journey that usually takes 35 minutes. You want to know why? Probably not, but I’m going to tell you anyway… because the people of engalnd inexplicable becoume mushy brained morons at the first sign of moist air. Thats why.
Why do we need flashy signs telling us to do 40 mph on the motorway? Spray? Isn’t that what windscreen wipers are for? or am I being naieve? OK so its not safe to be bombing along at 90 in the wet, cos brakes and grip aren’t as good but 40? On a motorway? And that brings me to another point… why is it that when there is a temporary speed limit in force does there always seem to be someone in front who like to do 10mph LESS than the already unnecessarily low limit, usually a beige volvo being driven by colin with his driving gloves and flat cap on?
I guess what I’m getting at is IF YOU CANT DRIVE IN THE RAIN THEN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE A DRIVING LICENCE. Why should my journey take me nearly twice as long because you’re scared of getting water on your windscreen. If you MUST drive then use the smaller routes to drive at 4mph not the motorway… Leave that to people who have brains.
ahem.
3 comments May 22nd, 2006
Moist
I have a list of things to do that’s about this long today:
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And it’s all meant to start with going in to Manchester and getting some things. But it’s raining and nastybad outside and I don’t like it and I can’t go anywhere because the station is 15 minutes away and I’d get wet on the way there.
So instead I’m sitting here writing nonsense to post to the internet, like anyone actually cares. They don’t. You don’t, do you? Sitting there all warm in whatever place you’re in where you are? No, you don’t give a flying mack for my sad predicament.
Truly tis a sad day.
3 comments May 22nd, 2006
Wobbly Dog and Flat Kitty
Once upon a time there were two best friends, Wobbly Dog and Flat Kitty. Wobbly Dog was wobbly because he walked at an angle due to a calcium deficiency and therefore his balance was off. Flat Kitty was flat because Wobbly Dog had fell on him. Despite the initial frustrations, hospital appointments and arguements though the two had become the best of friends.
One day Flat Kitty was sitting in the garden on a lovely sunny day when Wobbly Dog wobbled through the garden gate and wobbled up the garden path, “Good morning,” shouted Flat Kitty. “Good morning to you too,” shouted Wobbly Dog who promptly wobbled into the dustbins. “Are you okay?” asked Flat Kitty. “I suppose so, but not I stink of wet vegetables and cheese,” shouted Wobbly Dog. Still with a spring in his step good old Wobbly Dog finally reached and sat down next to Flat Kitty.
“We should go on an adventure!” said Flat Kitty, “just the two of us, somewhere exciting!” Wobbly Dog checked his vision, “Sounds like a great idea to me. I bet there’s an exciting adventure hiding in the cellar. We should start there!” Flat Kitty flapped with amazement, in only a way a flat cat could, “Yes, off we go, you lead the way.” Wobbly Dog hurriedly stumbled in the direction of the kitchen with Flat Kitty in hot pursuit. Once there they managed to open the door, including two deadbolts and using a key, and stared into the eerie darkness. “It’s just like space,” said Wobbly Dog. “Looks more like night to me,” said Flat Kitty. Wobbly Dog gripped a torch in his mouth and said, “follow me,” before falling down the stairs. Flat Kitty followed the light excited as a panda on heat.
Bruised but not beaten yet, Wobbly Dog stood up and flashed the light across the various shelves and crap lurking in the cellar. The huge silouette of the lawnmower looked like a giant. “Is that a giant?” asked Flat Kitty. “No it’s a lawnmower,” said Wobbly Dog. Everywhere they looked was excitement and mystery, well, as much as there can be for a broken dog and a squished cat. How long do you reckon they were down there? Five minutes? Half an hour? Let me tell you, they were there five bloody hours. Do you think I have the patience let alone the time to write about five hours of them fumbling in the dark? Him knocking everything off the shelves. Her as thick as edam. The two of them may as well be lost in the Sahara, there’s about as much exciement there as there is for two stupid pets wandering around aimlessly in the dark!
When the adventure was over Wobbly Dog and Flat Kitty returned to the comfort of that lovely afternoon sunshine. “Wasn’t that a fantastic adventure?” asked Flat Kitty, “I think that’s the best one yet!” Wobbly Dog nodded in agreement, “Yes, definately the best. I can still feel the twinges of excitement in my bones. We should return there one day to recall teh excitement although preferably once someone has cleaned up all those broken plant pots…”
“…and hairballs,” said Flat Kitty, rudely interupting Wobbly Dog, not that he noticed the dumb shit. They both laughed in merriment. What a happy day!
The End
5 comments May 22nd, 2006
Tis a sad day in Droitwich.
Yes my friends today is a very sad day, for it seems that we, or rather I, have lost/deleted/not backed up/misplaced/sold off/prematurely sent to silicone heaven, the old ConstantlyFalling websites. There is a slim chance they may lurk on an old hard drive somewhere, so all hope is not lost. 😀
5 comments May 21st, 2006
Things!
Theresthatthingspagethatyoudid,andyouwanteditmoved,soihackedatsomecode stuffandnowimadeitmove.iguessedsomeofthephpsoitmaynotbeverystablebutit seemstoworkandnowitswhereyouwanteditIrealiseimnotusinganypunctuationor spacesbutthatsbecauseimjustsodamnedexcitedaboutitandthingsandwoo
3 comments May 21st, 2006