English Weather and Incompetant Bafoons: A Rant by Kev
May 22nd, 2006
As a country we are not known for our fantastic weather, you do not hear the sun drenched chaps of southern france saying “You know what I fed up of the weather round here, lets visit England”, and do you know why? Because our weather sucks.
Now we’ve established that it should be fair to assume that as a nation we should be used to bad weather and especially rain. Lots of rain. It rains lots here (Unless you live down south, hee hee standpipes), its cold and generally not reet gud. Soooo. On to the point. Why… when it rains do England’s roads grind to a horrible depressing standstill??? The reason for this rant as you may have guessed is because i have just been caught in such a situation. This morning it took me 65 minutes, (thats a whole 5 minutes more than an hour!), to make a journey that usually takes 35 minutes. You want to know why? Probably not, but I’m going to tell you anyway… because the people of engalnd inexplicable becoume mushy brained morons at the first sign of moist air. Thats why.
Why do we need flashy signs telling us to do 40 mph on the motorway? Spray? Isn’t that what windscreen wipers are for? or am I being naieve? OK so its not safe to be bombing along at 90 in the wet, cos brakes and grip aren’t as good but 40? On a motorway? And that brings me to another point… why is it that when there is a temporary speed limit in force does there always seem to be someone in front who like to do 10mph LESS than the already unnecessarily low limit, usually a beige volvo being driven by colin with his driving gloves and flat cap on?
I guess what I’m getting at is IF YOU CANT DRIVE IN THE RAIN THEN YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE A DRIVING LICENCE. Why should my journey take me nearly twice as long because you’re scared of getting water on your windscreen. If you MUST drive then use the smaller routes to drive at 4mph not the motorway… Leave that to people who have brains.
ahem.
3 Comments
1. Chris | May 22nd, 2006 at 11:09
The newest section of the M60 east of Manchester opened in 2000. Like you say this country is known for its rain, and Manchester in particular has something of a reputation for its damp climate. So you’d think the engineers would have some idea of how to deal with rain.
This section uses a new innovative type of drainage where the tarmac is porous and allows rainwater through to drains underneath, so there’s no camber for water to run off and no drains down the sides. Unfortunately what they failed to consider is that motorways are not hoovered on a regular basis, so the little holes in the tarmac got blocks with filth and guff very quickly. Ten miles of spanking new motorway is therefore flooded every time there’s so much as a drop of rain.
The lesson? Don’t be a smartarse when it comes to rain. Especially on a new bit of motorway worth £270m.
2. Ian Mac Mac Mac McIver | May 22nd, 2006 at 19:58
The people of engalnd? Do you take a ferry to a mystical island where you work? Do these people enjoy jam as much as thee?
3. Kevil Lord o' Beans | May 23rd, 2006 at 09:24
yes. yes they do