The Wife Spectrum – An Introduction

May 24th, 2011

By Oily Buns aka Oliver Bunsford

I suppose it was only a matter of time before my knowledge and expertise in this field was required by the rest of the world. It is not the kind of thing you can keep to yourself, especially when you know it will help so many others. So yes, I’m throwing the gauntlet down and showing my shiny parts. I am giving up my valuable time to point you in the right direction. I’ve also lost quite a lot of business since “real” and “funny” comedians started appearing again, and those articles about the train sodomy didn’t help.

How many people have wives? Exactly. Tons. How many people know what to do with wives? Exactly. Tons. Some however don’t have the faintest idea of what to do once the veil is up. They get a frightened look on their face and soil themselves in the reception room. Luckily I’ve been practising polygomy for the best part of two decades; for no particular reason, I get a bit fussy sometimes, I like a bit of change. Being on the road so much you pick things up here and there, mainly there, and there as well.

You can break wives into five main groups: annoying, naggy, pointy, nymph and polar bear. I seem to favour the last two, no idea why. We will run through all of them at some point.

I only hope that with my help you can achieve the same level of bliss that I, my eleven wives, and twenty-seven children have.

Entry Filed under: Ian,Loins,Quite nice,Things