Home Beans Shopping Network

September 25th, 2011

In the sprint towards the festive season you may be wondering what to get people you know and quite possibly love. Buying things is very difficult and the choice on offer now is so colossal that it makes you want to shave cakes for fun. So, you need a helping hand to point you in the right direction. There’s no way you’ll get this level of service from anywhere else.

Let’s start with Uncle Johnny Wing-Wang. Uncle J is a hard cracker and doesn’t like anything other than football and food. He’s a bit of a fat bastard but nobody says anything, you know because it’s gone on for so long it’s silly to bring it up now; the time for that was 1987. What kind of a present is going to a) impress him and b) make his chubby face squish a smile out one end?

You need this… a loaf of crusts:

There are people who do like crusts, I can vouch for them. Imagine an entire loaf of bread with only crusts, gathered up from all the crust-hating fops out there in the world. Fresh and seething with resentment for not being eaten. The perfect gift for a couch-dwelling chunder-faced gremlin. Stick that up Uncle J and it’ll shower rainbows over his life for decades to come.

Available now for the small price of £8.99.

Entry Filed under: Delicious,Quite nice,Uncategorized