The Saint King’s Army – Task One
May 3rd, 2007
The recruitment task has been completed. The two members of the new Saint King Army should be returning their forms as we speak. In the meantime the Saint King, king oft he saints and all their saintly behaviour, has set a task for himself before assigning to those in his army.
Task One – ‘Harassment’. I have chosen a celebrity at random and shall be sending precisely one fan letter to their fan address each week. This is to continue until one of the two scenarious happens:
1 – The celebrity writes back.
2 – The celebrity’s representative writes to ask to stop sending letters.
I’m hoping it will be the first one but who can tell in this topsy-turvy world of ours. The letters are polite and well-mannered under the pseudonym Ian McIver, one of the Saint King’s alter egos. And what an ego it is! The first letter has been written and is due to be sent either tomorrow or Saturday depending on the queues in the manky post office in town. Who is the celebrity?
Emily Browning
Check google and wikipedia for pictures and information. Psychadelic Furs!
19 Comments
1. Kevil | May 3rd, 2007 at 16:34
Why did you am choosing this particular celabrity?
2. Saint King | May 4th, 2007 at 08:35
Ahem… it was mainly based on her… acting abilities and the fact that she is… erm… good at acting.
*thinks* yes, that’s a convincing answer.
3. Chris | May 5th, 2007 at 12:12
Will the celabrity be receiving letters in the manner of the one Saint King sent, on decoy paper headed with the name of some fictional law firm?
4. Saint King | May 8th, 2007 at 07:03
No, erm, the Saint King under the guise of Ian McIver will write on normally-headed paper to continue the ruse that he is a normal person and that… yes.
PLAIN PAPER is the short answer 🙂
5. Kevil | May 8th, 2007 at 12:15
Excuse me oh kingly saint but what is our part in this. It seem to be more of a personal challenge than a group task.
6. Chris | May 8th, 2007 at 13:31
Indeed. We’ve been signed up and promised jewels but so far there’s nothing for us to do. How do we earn our rubies, emeralds and other shiny valuables?
7. Saint King | May 9th, 2007 at 07:02
The first task is for the Saint King and the Saint King. Tasks two and three involve your involvement in helping with certain things. When I can get to the post office at the weekend you’ll know, oh yes, you’ll know… >:)
8. Chris | May 9th, 2007 at 12:58
Are you posting us some jewels? 😀
9. Kevil | May 9th, 2007 at 19:35
I do hope that he is. If for nothing else than some recognition of the immense amount of time we had to spend filling in the application forms!
10. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | May 10th, 2007 at 08:32
Jewels… perhaps. The tasks will come. The jewels maye have to come once the tasks I set are completed. Believe in my baby!
11. Chris | May 10th, 2007 at 10:50
Wait… you’re setting tasks? I thought Saint King was? Don’t tell me that you’re really Saint King?
12. Kevil | May 10th, 2007 at 11:34
Its all a sham… SHAM I TELLS YA!
13. Chris | May 10th, 2007 at 13:45
Oh the disgrace!
14. Kevil | May 10th, 2007 at 13:59
Chris, it seems we have been duped into signing up to join an army not fronted as we were led to believe, by Saint King King of all the Saints… but Ian. Doesnt seem quite as glamourous now does it?
Do we still get jewels?
15. Saint King | May 14th, 2007 at 08:44
Dear believers, believe that I, the Saint King, king of all the saints and all their saintly behaviour, do have minions for when I am spirited with ale and cake. When that doth happen I must rely on said minions to carry forth the message of the Saint King. Therefore whilst it looked as though that idiot was pretending to be me he was in fact speaking my words that I spoke to him whilst speaking from the toilet whilst drinking the water of the new tomorrow.
16. Chris | May 14th, 2007 at 17:26
That’s my faith restored, but only to 92% of its previous strength. Jewels will definitely be needed for the other 8%.
17. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | May 15th, 2007 at 07:02
Jewels, jewels, it’s all you two ever speak of. The Saint King thinks maybe he should have held back on the jewels. AT LEASE THE FAITH IS RESTORED THOUGH!
18. Kevil | May 17th, 2007 at 15:43
We all have armies of minions to feed here… we need those jewels to avoid mutiny. Some nuggets may suppress the feelings of unrest though.
19. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | May 18th, 2007 at 08:29
I suppose, being that he’s now appointed me his Kingdom Treasurer of sorts, I can speak on his behalf properly. Perhaps some jewels may follow with that tape you have requested from the Saint King, king of the saints and all their saintly behaviour. Perhaps. Perhaps. And a big maybe too.
By the way I’m writing the third letter to Miss Browning and still now reply. How long does it take to get to Australia in an envelope?