20 Comments

• 1. Kevil  |  February 11th, 2009 at 11:06

  I thing that guy’s dog is still illin’ for us at the minute. We should really let him know that he can stop.

• 2. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  February 11th, 2009 at 18:01

  How would we do that? Do you remember his feace? I’m never gonna see the bitch again so if you need to cease the illin’ you’ll have to do it on my behalf, although it was you who shouted it out the car window.

  Maybe he was never illin’ for me at all, oh no!

• 3. Chris  |  February 12th, 2009 at 14:31

  I do not subscribe to this because I do not intend to be ill at the behest of strangers. Net loss.

• 4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  February 13th, 2009 at 18:00

  Then it will be your net loss and the world’s net gain.

  Equivalent exchange baby.

• 5. Chris  |  February 16th, 2009 at 16:06

  Net same!

• 6. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  February 17th, 2009 at 09:11

  Net tie! It’s so close to neck tie I feel excited.

• 7. Kevil  |  February 17th, 2009 at 15:07

  I wonder if those chavs have finished illin’ for us in Ne’castle? If we dont end it, they could end up being mal-adjusted members of society. Ahh fuck it.. leave em.

• 8. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  February 18th, 2009 at 09:18

  I think they were mal-adjusted waaaaaaay before we started pushing any illin’ on them. You could tell by their knees.

• 9. Kevil  |  February 18th, 2009 at 11:59

  God-dammed ostrich children

• 10. Charley McFarley  |  February 18th, 2009 at 21:17

  Would anyone like to see my knees? They’re quite pert and some find them arousing.

• 11. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  February 19th, 2009 at 09:20

  I wouldn’t see your knees if they were stood next to the biggest jelly mould this side of Washington DC. Even if it was a bunny jelly mould, because they are deemed the best.

  Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Jim.

• 12. Chris  |  February 19th, 2009 at 14:57

  Blimey! You told that Charley fella. How very strident. He’s leaving and he’s illin’ for sho’.

• 13. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  February 24th, 2009 at 09:16

  Where did he come from? And why do all the additional characters we come up with have rhyming first and surnames? 😛

  I’ll give him what for, too right. Pip pip. I’m bringing pip pip back into the 21st century along with the finger wiggle dance.

  Awww yeah.

• 14. Chris  |  February 24th, 2009 at 10:27

  Pip pip? You know that Derek Jacobi likes to use “what a pip!” on In The Night Garden. I think that’s a phrase we should hear more of.

  Charley McFarley came in through the Character Hatch at the back of the website. New ones pop up there from time to time. I tried gaffer-taping it shut once but the characterness just built up and when it finally burst open we got the Saint King, so I’m not trying that again. Maybe I’ll just brick it up.

• 15. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  March 3rd, 2009 at 09:16

  So it’s sort of like ‘Trapdoor’ then? Cool. You can’t brick it up.

  My friend Andrew told me something recently that I’d completely forgotten about. In Thomas the Tank Engine once Henry didn’t want to come out of a tunnel in case the rain spoilt his paint. So what did the caring Fat Controller do? He bricked it up and didn’t let him out for a year! Do you know what a year of isolation will do to a person? I’m surprised Henry didn’t need therapy when he emerged.

• 16. Chris  |  March 3rd, 2009 at 11:21

  Rain wouldn’t spoil his paint though. It would just roll off. Paint is designed to cope with situations like that.

  If the rain did damage the paintwork I think he’d be within his rights to complain.

• 17. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  March 4th, 2009 at 08:30

  So what you’re saying is that it’s an unrealistic approach and look at modern train welfare?

  What if it were fresh paint though and he’d just come out of the local Charlie Brown’s and it’s p*ssing it down a-plenty?

• 18. Kevil  |  March 4th, 2009 at 13:45

  Then he’d be well withinn his rights.

  I think ive seen that one. It would ave been a bit of a shitter to all the people who want a train and live at the other side of that tunnel though.

  If it were me, i’ve have snadblasted the paint off him. He’dve have nowt to cry about then!

  Very petty if you ask me.

• 19. Chris  |  March 4th, 2009 at 18:40

  Yes. You need parliamentary approval to close a line for that length of time. Utterly unacceptable behaviour. It’s a wonder the Fat Arsed Controller still has a job.

• 20. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  March 11th, 2009 at 09:31

  Can you imagine him applying for other jobs?

  “And what was your last line of employment?
  “Yes I was the Fat Controller of the Island of Sodor.”
  “The what?”
  “The Fat Controller.”
  “And what does a Fat Controller do?”
  “A lot of things really. I once bricked up a train in a tunnel for misbehaving.”
  “I… see…”