Bring on the Weirdoes!
March 12th, 2009
Living in Newcastle you do get a fair share of crazies coming up to you in the street. Some keep their distance and allow you to watch their madness from afar. Here are some of my favourites from the last few weeks:
- Crazy drunks with impressive yet dirty facial hair (at 7 in the evening).
- The strange man who works in the same building albeit on a different floor. When he gets into the lift he focuses on the bottom corner and refuses to look up. It’s the strained expression on his face that makes me wonder how much he hates social interaction.
- The drunken couple on the Metro; another classic example that unravels itself like a story. They both get on but clearly have had an arguement so sit at opposite ends of the train. After a couple of minutes the woman gets up and paces down the Metro and starts slapping the man. Then they enter into this bizarre display (on the seats opposite me no less) that looks as though they are trying to fight and f*ck at the same time, sometimes kissing, sometimes hitting. Twice they fall off their seats into a heap on the floor. I crank the Klaxons up to 10 and look desperately out the window.
- The dog with the huge p*nis (and flaunts it at you as he runs past).
My life would be so dull without them.
Entry Filed under: Loins
12 Comments
1. Kevil | March 12th, 2009 at 13:05
I imagine that in the dog’s head hes thinking…
“Ooh there’s someone coming, I could do that penis thing again. Heh he that would be great… Wait for it… wait for it… DEPLOY!”
2. Chris | March 12th, 2009 at 13:34
Why are you spending so much time examining dogknobs anyway?
3. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 12th, 2009 at 18:00
I’m not. He literally comes up (okay that’s not literally) behind you and wags it at your back. Or your face, depending on which way you’re facing.
4. Chris | March 16th, 2009 at 21:37
I think you’re spending too much time with this well-endowed canine. Get some other friends.
5. Kevil | March 16th, 2009 at 22:30
Yeah, like a Budgie with a tiny penis, or a female Boa Constrictor with no penis.
6. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 18th, 2009 at 09:27
I think you’re both p*nis obsessed and should get out more, preferably not in Newcastle where both the residents and animals wave their c*cks at you.
7. Chippety Mew | March 19th, 2009 at 09:11
I think this site is a harbour of filth and degredation!
8. Chris | March 19th, 2009 at 18:09
Why are th*re st*rs on s*me *f y**r w*rds? It’* n*t li*e y*u ca*’t s*y PENIS or COCK on h*re. We’re *ll gr*wn-ups.
9. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 21st, 2009 at 09:57
It’s because, jizz bracket, I never know who’s monitoring my computer at work so I hide all the naughty bits just in case 😛
10. Monitor this bitch... | March 24th, 2009 at 10:05
Fuck, cunt, bollocks, wank, bastard, tosser, bint, penis, arse, tits, sex, fannys, cock
11. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 25th, 2009 at 23:27
Ha, I’m looking at this from home. In your face Monitor This Bitch!
I trust in your general direction!
Net gain!
12. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 28th, 2009 at 09:49
I also thrust in your general direction.
Ack, net loss. Whoops.