Newsboost Zoom Flume – Ugly People Get The Thumbs Up

August 24th, 2009

Scientists today have unanimously proved that ugly people and other associated groups are helping to save the environment more than the prettier sides of society.

In a recent survey it has been confirmed that those who may or may not have fell from the ugly tree, hitting all the branches on the way down, use less water, eat less food and don’t go out as much for various reasons. Generally though because they either don’t have any friends or refuse to be seen in public for fear of being covered in old Spam tins and Ready Brek.

Amongst the others who have been given the biggest slap on the back rather than across the face are the dirty, the smelly, the agoraphobics and the tight with money.

“I think it’s great. I’ve been ugly since I was born and I’ve never been congratulated for anything other than wearing a bag on my head,” said James Bonbon, owner of Thrifty Wares.

“For ten years now I’ve refused to wear any sort of deodorant,” advised Jamelia Stuffykins, “not only because I enjoy the sweet smell of my own sweat but because the CFCs were damaging to the environment. We few who follow the strict codes of the Sweataholics, not to be confused with the Sweetaholics, will wear this honour with pride!”

There were a few, however, to point out that while this was all in good taste there were certain aspects that would affect the country’s economy. “Stuff that,” said Eekon P. Wildlicker, “that was probably said by a hot piece of ass, and why should we listen to them anymore?”

Too true Mr Wildlicker.

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