24 Comments

• 1. Kevil  |  November 17th, 2009 at 16:34

  What the fuck have you been doing?

• 2. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 18th, 2009 at 09:21

  Where did my comment go? I was first!

  (I know what has happened now though, so technically I am the winner overall.)

• 3. Chris  |  November 20th, 2009 at 18:34

  The news is in! It’s a write off! Four grand down the shitter! Hooray!

  If anyone has any four grands lying around, I’d be glad to accept them now. Thanks.

• 4. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 23rd, 2009 at 09:11

  I want to cry hot apples of pain and sadness. Just when you think you’ve got through the sh*t-stained plaid-panted cr*pness of 2009 another knock to the system.

  Sorry lad.

• 5. Kevil  |  November 23rd, 2009 at 11:31

  Eeep. Thats gonna sting. How much did they quote you to fix it?

  On a now slightly irrelavent note, how come you were only 3rd Party?

• 6. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 23rd, 2009 at 23:32

  Because the lines for first and second were too long. You’ve been in Debenhams on a Saturday, right?

• 7. Chris  |  November 24th, 2009 at 12:54

  Because fully comprehensive is very expensive, especially when you have zero no claims bonus. (I still have zero no claims bonus.)

• 8. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 24th, 2009 at 14:47

  So… technically that’s a good thing right? It’s just that given the choice though you would have made a claim rather than having the no claims. I’m guessing.

  Cars are hard man.

• 9. Chris  |  November 24th, 2009 at 15:13

  Not hard enough. If my car had been harder, it wouldn’t have been damaged when it banged into the other car. I could have just laughed and driven away. But no, my car wasn’t that hard, was it? And NOW LOOK AT WHERE I AM.

• 10. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 25th, 2009 at 09:09

  YES. YOU ARE IN erm Write Off City? I wouldn’t ever like to be there. At least I now know what a write off is now. Man the amount of times I had pretended I knew and covered it up, sheesh.

  So I suppose the next time you’re looking at cars you’re going to test for hardness? I would use the Wheel of Thrusting to assist you with your decision.

• 11. Chris  |  November 25th, 2009 at 16:18

  The engineering report is in! The chassis legs are bent around to the sides! The engine is damaged! The suspension is damaged! The chassis needs realigning! £2600 of new parts are required! Airbags need refitting! Seatbelt tensators have to be replaced! It would cost £5073.63! Hooray!

• 12. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 25th, 2009 at 22:17

  Seatbelt tensators? That’s totally made up. Nobody needs a seatbelt tensator. You could knock a couple o hundred quid off that surely.

  Shit about the engine and everything else. Could you not hold a fundraiser at work? Children in Need get a lot of publicity. You’re needy. It makes sense.

• 13. Kevil  |  November 25th, 2009 at 23:32

  We’ll have a live telethon on Open Access TV just for you. I’m sure we could get a few hundred…. pennies.

• 14. Kevil  |  November 25th, 2009 at 23:33

  Also tensators…? Did they mean ten sailors?

• 15. Chris  |  November 26th, 2009 at 12:30

  Yes, they did. The ten sailors who pedal the car along all need replacing.

• 16. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 26th, 2009 at 23:10

  That took Kev a mere sixty seconds to come up with that. I’m very impressed.

  In a perfect world you would get ten for ten pound ten but seeing as it isn’t and you live in London which charged the rest of the world eighty billion pounds just to sit near it, it may cost a little more.

• 17. Chris  |  November 26th, 2009 at 23:23

  Breaking news! Dit dit dit dee dit dit dee dit dit daaaaah!

  Nice people in Essex, most of whom are Mark’s friends but one of whom is Mark’s brother, are going to fix my car from its present totally knackered state and turn it into a proper working car that drives around and works properly and everything, and it looks like it will cost about £1000.

  I am chuffed, relieved, happy and relieved. I am also very relieved.

• 18. Kevil  |  November 27th, 2009 at 10:20

  Huzzah!

• 19. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 27th, 2009 at 21:32

  It’s times like this we throw caution to the wind and wear two pairs of boxer shorts. Excellent work.

  Remember to tip with ouzo.

• 20. Chris  |  November 27th, 2009 at 23:47

  Some more advice: don’t speak too soon. It’s not going to be repaired. I am buying a new car next week. Ker-ching etc. Repairs to this car might happen, but more likely whoever buys it off me will smash it into tiny bits and use them to fix another car.

  Bye, car!

• 21. Kevil  |  November 28th, 2009 at 21:11

  Less huzzah! New new car joys…. i thought you’d already smashed this one int tiny bits?

• 22. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 28th, 2009 at 23:22

  So what’s the dealio? This story has more twists than George Best’s knickers.

• 23. Chris  |  December 1st, 2009 at 17:34

  The dealio is that I have now rid myself of my broken car and am actively seeking a new, less broken, one. Bling! Four grand (down the shitter).

• 24. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  December 1st, 2009 at 19:48

  That’s a harsh Bling! man.

  You should feel good about yourself though because as a result of your injury, loss of earnings, and knackered car you have made ‘Some Advice’ the most successful post in a while.

  CONGRATULATIONS! GIVE HIM A ROUND!