Blog That!

December 20th, 2009

Today I was reminded of something that hadn’t come up in a while. A friend at work had said that it was “the right time” to do something. Generally people are obsessed with the wrong time, like the wrong time of the year to be jumping into rivers dressed like Bonnie Langford or the wrong place and the wrong time because you chose that Sunday when your nan was visiting to announce that you enjoyed sticking cellotape to your armpit and ripping it off like He Man. I don’t remember the last time when I thought something was happening at the right time but it almost happens every day.

My alarm goes off at the right time (because I set it for the right time). I go for lunch at the right time (because I chose one o’clock so the day didn’t drag on it’s a*se). I take a shower between eating and shooting zombies for fun (because I had a small window of twenty minutes). All these things take place at the right time. They all also had my subconscious hand in setting them off. I could easily shower in the morning however that is the time I’ve set aside for complaining about having to go to work and continually flipping the pillow over for the cold side because it feels better on my face. I could theoretically have my lunch at the awkward time of 3pm but if I did not only would I f*ck up everyone else’s plans but also I would have to wait six hours from the start of the working day to get anything to eat, as well as this what kind of d*ckhead lets someone go for lunch in the middle of the afternoon?

I’m actually writing this at the right time. It’s half seven, I’m sat in the pub waiting for the quiz to start and nobody else is here yet although the way the two Scottish lads in the corner are staring at me like I’m a t*rd in their pint is making me think that this is the wrong time…

(originally written Tuesday)

Entry Filed under: Ian