THE BOOK!!!
I know, I know, its taken me ages, blah blah.
But now…. I proudly present to you:
Enjoy…
20 comments February 4th, 2008
Posts filed under 'Loins'
What I would like more of on ‘Pouring Beans’
Seeing as it’s 2008 and we’re all back to square one on the sh*t-o-meter I want to throw down the gauntlet right now and say, “Look Shizzlers, this is what I want and if I don’t get it I shall hold my breath ’til luminous jelly squirts from my nasum.” Obviously that wouldn’t get me anywhere so I would like to request the following:
1. More film reviews from Marshall (rated by jam)
2. The result of the competition that Kev started
3. Someone, anyone, putting up the second book of ness up here
4. I dunno, some posts involved knitted beavers, badgers and loins would be funky
That is all. This year will be ours gentlemen.
37 comments January 28th, 2008
Silly Bint of the Month – Amy Winehouse
Oh yeah, I’ve been working up to this one *cracks his knuckles* for what seems like ages. I don’t really even need to touch on any sort of fact because deep down there has always been a strong hatred towards her in my loins. My loins remember the days when she was pretty unknown and was striving to sell any records and then all of a sudden that f*cking awful ‘Rehab’ song and bam, suddenly she’s everyone’s favourite British female singer. I don’t see what the appeal is especially when she seems to have taken on the trend of Pete Docherty and whilst letting her health slip is disappointing fans by not turning up for gigs. She’s not a very good role model considering she’s been arrested for possession of drugs and if she’s not in the newspapers for changing her hair colour it’s for more things to do with drugs or some sort of feud.
I’m sure she’s a lovely girl but quite frankly (pardon the joke there, unintended) she should disappear somewhere for a while, let everything calm down and come back. The cynic in me though says to drive her off the cliff in the same bus as James Morrison, Mika and Paolo Nutini.
22 comments January 23rd, 2008
Appreciate This…
Now…
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/011807/dont-hate-frogs.gif
And again
http://www.marriedtothesea.com/011807/dont-hate-frogs.gif
Now relax.
32 comments January 15th, 2008
Am sco bored am watching Parkinson
his very last interview show, and Jamie Cullum was on who is a slimy little shit who sings rubbish jazz, however I was immediately struck by his remarkable resemblance to one Mr Peter Doherty, who is ………. anyway, I think they were separated at birth, twins like, only their mother can tell them apart. And Michael Caine was on, and they showed a clip of him 34 years ago, and he bore a remarkable resemblance to Jude Law, so I therefore concur that he must be Jude Law’s love-father.
31 comments December 19th, 2007
Book (Beyatch Book) Beyatch
I have now completed scanning of all of the book, and it now exists as a set of colour image files on my hard disk and also inside my brain. It can be seen as a PDF or as a clever Flash thing that lets you click through the images. It can also be seen as slightly questionable behaviour for three grown men.
But before anything can be done – anything at all – we need the glorious Mr. Kev to somehow make these items appear upon this website so they can be viewed with our eyes, minds and hearts.
Glorious Mr. Kev, lead on! We are your tragic minions!
17 comments December 9th, 2007
Hot Pie Cold Custard
Made a lersh chocolate pear pudding last night – hot out of the oven – served with cold custard, as is the McIver way.
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Ooh, me first Beans bloggy thing – am excited.
15 comments December 6th, 2007
Mr Smudgey Exposes Himself
Hello, my name is Mr Smudgey and I am here to prove to you and everyone else watching that I am the most famous man on the planet at this very point in time. It was close recently as there was a man who balanced bananas on his nose as he read Shakespeare to a bottle-nose dolphin in a telephone box but that was just a rumour. It is time for another reference point so you bask in my celebrity status.
Point Number Two – hiding in the background of the sleeve for the Eagles album ‘Hotel California’.
It’s a bit hard to make out in this but I’m climbing the third tree from the left. I was staying in the hotel across the road which was aptly named ‘Hotel Opposite’. In between my early morning sessions of fung shui and that weird sh*t people do on big lawns I thought it would be a good laugh to look for coconuts. It was only when I looked down to see some idiot with a camera that I panicked, let go of the trunk and fell to the ground. The picture, mfwah mfwah, doesn’t reveal the fact that I spent three months in traction because of it.
I denied all knowledge of this particular exposure because, well, the Eagles suck d*ck big time. I am on a quest for status though so I must lay these demons to rest and own up. Hey, I’ve done worse things.
32 comments November 27th, 2007
Beware the Jam Pandas!
Alright gimme a second to catch my breath.
*fake breathing noises*
Did you know that… never mind I’ll tell you later. Those damn Jam Pandas have taken over my myspace page :O they were a bit rowdy when I got them home but when I opened my bag out they whooshed and before you could say, “how on earth can fictional children’s characters come into the real world?” they had locked me up in a cupboard. By the time Audrey saved me (she was looking for the step ladder) they had changed my log in password and now I can’t get back in. They keep posting bulletins about the bloody time, I look a right numpty.
Hi Marshall. You have *sings* NO IDEA *ends singing* what I’m talking about and that’s probably for the best 🙂 it’s all faux shizzel.
22 comments November 13th, 2007