Archive for December, 2008
Look me in the eye and tell me you haven’t been tempted. I’m right there in front of you, sat there in your line of vision. Don’t look away, don’t be coy I can see you’re interested. Beneath that tough exterior lies a heart just like anyone else. I can feel it. You could easily reach out and grab me, use me. It would be so simple. Nobody would think any less of you. In fact you would probably be praised, applauded even. You never know unless you try. I want you to. My purpose is for you and only you, no-one else. I won’t be here forever. It’s your choice but I’d rather have you than someone else. This the most honest I can be. I wouldn’t lie about something like this. So do it right now. Push out the boat; take the bull by the horns. Lean forward and tell me you want me, like you want to. Whisper sweet nothings to me without a second thought. Be rough, as rough as you want to, if that’s what you want. I look delicate but I’m tough. I can take whatever you want to give me. I can handle myself, I’m so used to it now. Put it down. Right now. Right on top of me. Swirl it about a bit. Swivel it from side to side. Shake it. Spill it all over me, oh yeah, maybe you want to. Make it messy. Make it dirty. Put the drink on me. Put it down bitch! Now! Now!!! Fucking pussy. I’m a coaster for God’s sake! It’s hardly astrophysics! Grow a set will ya?
December 29th, 2008
Seeing as we’re all too busy wrapping presents and sh*t I thought I would be my best to create some sort of yuletide message so that we’re all going along with the festive spirit. No wait, going along with it sounds as though we’re being held hostage by it, or that it’s some awful idea a semi-friend has come up with and you don’t want to tell them to f*ck off because you’re too nice so you go along with it to keep them happy and hold back how you really feel about them.
Ahem.
It would be best to say that 2008 has been a right pile of f*cktards all round, that it should be forgotten and left in a pile of newspapers for Ross Kemp to do a documentary on. Nonetheless it’s hard not to look forward to the presents, the endless supply of quality films, the presents, the food, the happy feaces, the cheer and merriment of people opening presents (and who said our generation was materialistic?). For now let us hold a shotgun in the general direction as we edge away from 2008 out the back door and I hope we all have a wonda-va Christmas!
Come and join the fun… and now our song is done.
December 24th, 2008
look at this with your eyes (not marshmallows)
what do you think?
December 4th, 2008
In my life I’ve done many pointless things, sometimes shamefully so. Among these you can include many of the videos we have made, the countless times I have completely dismantled the Lego ambulance Kev gave me and put it back together again, and the time I went to Tesco in my slippers.
This week I’ll be performing an exercise in pointlessness to put them all in the shade. I’m getting up at 5.30 on Friday morning and driving six hours north to Preston, where I will spend most of Friday and Saturday before coming home. Why? Because the Preston Bypass is turning 50 years old and I plan to be there.
It’s not going to notice if I miss the event because it’s a road, and in fact, it was completely rebuilt in 1995 so it’s not physically the same road any more either. But I will be there all the same and I’m sinking a rather alarming amount of money into the venture to travel there and back and stay over.
How pointless is your life? Share your pointless tales here, my friends, and weep with me.
December 2nd, 2008
