Garner This And Wait!

June 23rd, 2011

Dear Kraft Foods UK,

I have to start off with something you have probably heard many, many times before. So whilst it might not be entirely original I want to say THANK YOU. A big, big thank you. The biggest thank you that a lowly person can offer to such a wonderous place. Why? In my hands I hold a Terrys Chocolate Orange. It is without doubt one of my favourite foods. I can’t begin to tell you how amazing it tastes. When I put a piece in my mouth it sends me to places that other chocolate bars can only dream of. Terrys Chocolate Orange offers you a direct route to Fantasto-taste town. Every other chocolate you have to get a bus, then a train, then another bus and probably an airplane before you get where you want to be and even then it’s quieter, less interesting and you want to leave after five minutes. Fantasto-taste town is reserved exclusively for the Chocolate Orange. It’s a thing of beauty; a lip-smacking sphere of sugar lust.

Do you know which is my absolute favourite though? It has to be the Christmas-only popping candy Chocolate Orange. What an innovation! Popping candy is a severly underrated commodity and you hit the nail on the head there. My only problem is why only at Christmas? Do you think people would get bored with it if it were available every day of the year? Cos I wouldn’t. I’d put on five stone (possibly more?) eating those babies. I’d line my shelves with them. I’d build a shed out of them and sit in it and laugh like a tin of chuckles. The seagulls would certainly have a go at my chocolate structure and so would the kids who live down the street. I’d wake up one morning to find my roof was missing. It would just be an excuse to buy more.

So if you could can you bring out the popping candy Chocolate Orange at least twice a year, maybe Christmas and somewhere in Summer. My birthday? Ah, surely not. The 17th November is so far away. A closer date perhaps?

I’m off to Fantasto-taste town. Thanks for everything!

Ian McIver

Entry Filed under: Ian