Bored

August 25th, 2006

I’m at work but only 7 people are in the office out of the usual 14. Plus nobody is phoning, nobody is emailing and nobody has any work for me to do. I am so bored.

As a result of this, I am sitting here writing this. I have decided to look up BORING on Google Images and it gives me this:

Is this boring? It’s very hard to tell. I think it’s actually quite interesting. There’s a nice gay “hello sailor” thing about it all, and a mystery element because you don’t know who is on the other end of the phone. I wonder if that mystery caller knows they are talking to a pair of gay sailors in a lusty embrace?

I’m also interested in the homely American Sitcom look of the room they’re in. That table lamp with its creamy plaited shade is very Fresh Prince and the balustrade on the staircase in the background suggests a large, comfortable home, and not a battleship full of Village People singing gaybos.

My search also brings up this image from the Church of the King, Dallas. I’d like to think this is some sort of Elvis shrine that uses old biddies to spread the word.

In this image we see two such crones looking rather maudlin, both with cheery Rasta-style headgear. One is wearing horn rimmed glasses that were cutting edge in about 1952. The intention is to make us think that this church is so cool in its teaching of the Burning Love of Elvis that old grannies turn up looking like this. I think that this is actually a lie. The two old biddies in the image have never been there, and probably only like “In the Ghetto”, being much more interested in Max Bygraves’s oeuvre.

They were hired for the King’s publicity photoshoot and were told what would happen with recolouring to make them look trendy. This is why they look like you’ve just stolen their mobility scooter.

This image is also allegedly boring. I disagree. The woman in the centre of the picture is actually a hooker and is negotiating with the other two for a night of hot action. What she doesn’t know is that she’s being filmed for a late-night candid camera show where her antics will be broadcast to most of Japan. In addition, none of them are aware that the green building in the background is completely filled with Rice Krispies which were put there by a deranged millionaire.

I am SO BORED but this study of early 21st century visual interpretations of ‘boring’ has helped fill 30 minutes or so of my life. Thank you for your time.

Special reader exercise
Can you find a boring image and say why it’s a stack of cack? Prizes* for the best one!

 

* Prizes are imaginary

Entry Filed under: Chris,What I Did Today