You Gotta Be (Helping Me Out)

July 8th, 2011

This month Des’ree turns her attention to another desperate and unfufilled barney. We are sorry for the absence of her presence the previous months but there was a few legal issues we were ironing out. She’s back mind, with a grin and a shaky hand. This time Sheila Penzance needs her ivories tinkling:

Sheila Penzance: Dear Des’ree, I know that you are a woman of the world so I know I can come to you with whatever batzoid mental query I might have. I was going to say that you’ve been around the houses however that’s too much of a cliche. Let’s be blunt; I am sexually aroused by sewers. Ever since I was a teenager I couldn’t help but feel a tingle in my tringle when walking past a manhole (how ironic a name). Now, aged 35, it hasn’t gone away. It got so bad once when stood at a bus stop, and the bus was delayed by thirty minutes, and I was right next to a sewer grate, and I felt hot and my heart was racing and… I won’t go into too much detail. Can you please help me to sort my head out? I told a priest at confession one time and they were still laughing a week later. I am a mess and only you can help.

Des’ree: Life, oh life, oh life, oh life.

Helping others really gives me a good vibe you couldn’t dent with a two by four. We are glad to hear from you Ms Penzance; hopefully you are on the swooping path of normality.

And for the love of kolobok, if anyone tries to tell you that Buddy Holly wasn’t born in Lubbock, Texas pock them in the eyes with a fishfinger.

Entry Filed under: Loins