Another Ruddy Press Release
March 27th, 2007
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Chris Industries International Ltd. is sorry to announce the departure of the face of CII, world renowned musician Pete Doherty.
Mr Doherty had appeared in all CII Ltd. marketing material, voiced radio commercials and carried out ‘meeting and greeting’ tours in the CII Ltd. retail superstores across the globe.
Chris, Megaboss of CII Ltd., said today: “I’m sorry to see Pete end the deal. I’ve long been a fan of Pete’s moronic lifestyle and I thought he lived the lifestyle that we wanted to offer our customers. Whether he was advertising our dog grooming services or our exciting range of luxury wheelbarrows, he’s what our customers wanted.
Pete Doherty today commented: “I read this thing on their website, where someone posted some stuff Chris said about me, and now I don’t like him much.â€?
Mr Doherty now plans to take some time out with his partner, Kate Moss, in their luxury hideaway resort in Cleethorpes.
Chris Industries International Ltd. denies that this could spell the end of their global brand and are currently looking in to their options.
His partner Kate Moss was said to be “past it�.
Entry Filed under: Chris,Chris Industries,What I Did Today
5 Comments
1. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 27th, 2007 at 13:57
Maybe you should try Brian Blessed. He’s a good crack like, divva nah, divva nah, stottie etc
2. Chris | March 27th, 2007 at 14:00
Unfortunately CII Ltd has a “no shouting” policy so that the residents of what used to be Belgium aren’t disturbed too much. Therefore Brian Blessed would probably be a bit too loud.
I hear that he’s been approached to test the windscreens on CII’s new range of mobility scooters though, shouting at each one and seeing if they crack under the enormous wave of air pressure. A rewarding role.
3. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 28th, 2007 at 13:37
Brian never mentioned anything like that. As his attorney I should have been informed.
No spatchcocks for him this month.
4. Pete Doherty | March 28th, 2007 at 14:41
You could pay me to shit all over CII’s products to see if they were stain resistant. I still hate you I just need to keep my supply or smack flowing!
5. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 28th, 2007 at 22:07
Up yours Doherty, I wouldn’t employ you to guard my farts. Go shit your face in a crapstein.