Forming a Government

June 5th, 2007

I think everyone would agree that the government is a bit naff. I mean, they’ve been at it for centuries now, and are things really any better than when they started?

So it seems to me that it would be much better if we started our own government and just, you know, got on with it. Therefore I suggest that, with effect from Thursday 7th June 2007, we launch the Pouring Beans Governmental Committee (PBGC) which will start issuing edicts, declarations, statutes and prophecies immediately for the betterment of the United Kingdom.

I see the governmental hierarchy looking like this, from least powerful to most powerful:

  • Parish Councils
  • County Councils and Unitary Authorities
  • Regional Assemblies
  • Individual Ministries
  • The House of Commons
  • The House of Lords
  • HM the Queen (ceremonial head of state)
  • Pouring Beans Governmental Committee

As the PBGC will be above all other elements of the government, I don’t see why we should have to bother asking the rest of them. We should just set it up and get on with it, and they can adjust to it as necessary.

As a starting point, I have been carrying out detailed negotiations with the existing ruling party, and I have arranged for Tony Blair to stand down from office towards the end of this month. I think this will make our job significantly easier. I hope this is OK with the rest of the PBGC.

We need titles for ourselves, and possibly specialised areas. I suggest that Ian is best placed to look after Legalness, the Law and all things related. Kev is best places to be in charge of Technology and Defence (because he’s in IT and the scouts) and I could probably look after Infrastructure – things like transport and housing and stuff. Because we’ll be above ministers, we also need a decent title. I think “god” has a nice ring to it. This would make Ian, for example, God of Law.

Your thoughts please.

Entry Filed under: Chris,Great

10 Comments

  • 1. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 5th, 2007 at 16:54

    Do you ever do anything in your job? Ever?

  • 2. Chris  |  June 6th, 2007 at 10:19

    No.

  • 3. KEvil  |  June 6th, 2007 at 10:23

    Just so you both know, i still can’t access this site at work due to an only partial webmonkey success. To post this message i have logged onto one of our customers servers and am using their internet connection. (naughty aint I?)

    Anyway… ill let yous know when i’m back……..

  • 4. Chris  |  June 6th, 2007 at 15:41

    Surely that’s worth four additional bonus points for deviancy and cunning!

  • 5. Kevil  |  June 6th, 2007 at 19:27

    You truely do have way too muc htime on your hands.

  • 6. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 7th, 2007 at 08:24

    Woo hoo! Someone thinks I have a valid point!

    *high fives himself*

    I think it is a good idea though. Someone needs to take control of this shambles of a country and I believe we three are the ones to do it.

    Plus we sing great.

  • 7. Chris  |  June 7th, 2007 at 10:13

    What? You mean I have a good idea? Can it be true?

  • 8. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 8th, 2007 at 08:29

    Twice in one lifetime? When you’re hot, you’re hot!

    Yes I believe you have a good idea. I raise my nips in admiration for it. I say down with whatever and up with us. And more so!

  • 9. Chris  |  June 8th, 2007 at 14:49

    UP WITH US!

    If that’s not a worthy government motto, I don’t know what is.

  • 10. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 11th, 2007 at 08:46

    Up with us is so inspirational I think I want to quit my job and take up the government right now! It does pay a lot doesn’t it? ‘Cos I can’t really afford to quit my job unless the pay is mucho mambo. Maybe I should read the small print.

    Do we have any small print? Do we have any print?


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