Open Up And Discuss – Fireman Sam

June 3rd, 2008

Some interesting comments were brought up yesterday about Fireman Sam:

1) You never see his brother or sister who are the parents of those irritating kids who follow him around? Have they left? Are they charvers? Or is it the simple fact that Sam is actually their real dad and there’s some scandal going down in Pontypandy?

2) There’s a lot of action that goes down in such a small Welsh village. Do you think that the fire service are deliberately causing accidents, like pushing Trevor down wells and messing with Norman’s skateboard, so that they have something to do?

3) An Italian restaurant in a small village anywhere, where the population looks about 15, would not survive. Is Bella using the local cats in her recipes or does she have some rich Mafia boss living elsewhere in the world who funds her failing business?

4) Fireman Sam is a young, fit (not my words), active person and yet he’s single. This doesn’t happen in everyday life. Does he drive into town every night for some “Night Lady Action” or does he “bat for the other side”?

Your comments please.

Entry Filed under: Ian,Loins,Random Thought,Think about it

12 Comments

  • 1. Chris  |  June 3rd, 2008 at 10:54

    Bella is clearly too slack to be connected with the Mafia. It’s more likely that her “restaurant” is an upmarket whorehouse, which both keeps the (bisexual) Fireman Sam satisfied on his nights off, and which is sufficiently classy to draw it punters from a much wider area than just Pontypandy itself. Note that, while you occasionally see bits of the restaurant, it’s in a much bigger building and you never see the rest of it. Why? Because it’s full of scantily-clad hoes.

  • 2. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 3rd, 2008 at 18:48

    Do you think she’s slack because of her awful accent? That always did my head in. Just because you speak in a high voice and say, “Mamma mia!” every five minutes does not constitute an Italian accent. Only Super Mario gets away with that.

    She could be running a brothel though. Notice the complete lack of police presence in the village. What happens if someone steals something?

  • 3. Chris  |  June 4th, 2008 at 17:52

    Fireman Sam sprays them with his homoerotic hose.

  • 4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 5th, 2008 at 09:00

    Kinda like the gay daleks from ‘Takeover TV’? 😀

  • 5. Chris  |  June 5th, 2008 at 09:06

    Like that. But gayer.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Fireman Sam was a male stripper in the evenings. Pontypandy turns out to be a real hotbed of vice.

  • 6. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 6th, 2008 at 09:06

    I’m surprised that Kev, the chief of sleaze, hasn’t come into this discussion yet 😛

    Hotbed of vice definitely sounds like Pontypandy. The pasta in Bella’s restaurant will be laced with crack and the reason why Norman is always getting into trouble is that he’s on LSD and thinks he’s at at park on the swings with Jimi Hendrix.

  • 7. Chris  |  June 6th, 2008 at 16:26

    Kev doesn’t like us much any more. That’s why he isn’t showing his face these days.

    That, and he has too many poodles to groom.

  • 8. Kevil  |  June 9th, 2008 at 11:30

    Tis too true, i have been away for a week in the costa poodle (near barcelona) on a weeks poodle grooming masterclass, teaching the lazy europeans how its done and opening franchises.

    Have you noticed that there is very rarely actually a fire in pontypandy, just kittens down wells and strippers up trees?

  • 9. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 9th, 2008 at 12:41

    Strippers up trees? That’ll be the vice again. I wonder if foreign businessmen, looking for a cheap thrill, travel all the way to the middle of Wales looking for the wonder that is Pontypandy.

    They would, they have the cash and the wheels.
    I don’t, I have the debt and the shoes.

  • 10. Chris  |  June 9th, 2008 at 14:44

    Your shoes are not welcome in Pontypandy. The town-wide shoe fetish sees to that.

    Note that the name of the town is a clever concealment of “Panty Pondy”, which refers to the residents’ love of wading in to the village pond wearing only their pants. The perverts.

  • 11. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  June 10th, 2008 at 08:11

    I expect some disgusting professor of English Literature, with a puppy in his pants and a salmon up his jaxi, came up with that little number.

    And when they wade in the water they thrust slowly to the slow grooves of the water.

  • 12. Kevil  |  June 13th, 2008 at 15:33

    And it makes passers by weep.

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