Incoming News Zoom
June 30th, 2008
A man has cut off his head in protest at the costs of haircuts at his local barbers today.
Jimmy Bumble, a resident of the village Whickersham in Leicestershire, took a pair of pinking shears and sliced through his neck to leave him without a head. This comes after recent news that saw the price of a simple trim rise to the astonishing fee of £6.07.
“You can’t let things like this lie,” said Mr Bumble, 89, speaking from underneath his own armpit. “If they think that is a reasonable sum just to spend five minutes removing growing hairs from my pimply noggin, well, let them. I’d sooner cut my own head off than… oh wait.”
The village of Whickersham has received a fair amount of bad publicity recently after several accounts of granny napping and bovine juggling were reported by worried residents. People have blamed this on the tanker of glycol fog that tipped over last year, poisoning the water supply and causing general havoc.
The barbers shop in question do not wish to be named and have refused to comment on Mr Bumble’s actions, although they did offer to trim the whole crew for twenty quid.
Mac Mackford – June 2008
Entry Filed under: Chris,Ian,Kev,Noos Flash
22 Comments
1. Kevil | July 1st, 2008 at 15:03
Crank.
2. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | July 1st, 2008 at 18:27
Shank
3. Chris | July 1st, 2008 at 20:36
Manky spank!
4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | July 2nd, 2008 at 18:34
Tussle!
Fraud!
5. Chris | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:01
Jail 🙁
6. Kevil | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:51
…..prison bitch
7. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | July 3rd, 2008 at 12:46
Shunty shunty
Cookie bunty!
8. Chris | July 3rd, 2008 at 15:45
No! Anything but that!
9. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | July 4th, 2008 at 09:01
Come get some… baby!
*what are we doing?*
10. Kevil | July 4th, 2008 at 11:55
The boogie-choog to doom town
11. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | July 4th, 2008 at 17:00
Do you ever worry about your own brain?
I mean I never but I was just checking with yous guys
12. Kevil | July 6th, 2008 at 11:10
I let it worry about itself.
13. Mother Chubbard | July 7th, 2008 at 12:59
Don’t worry worry until worry worries you.
14. Kevil | July 7th, 2008 at 15:03
Screw you Chubbard.
15. Chris | July 8th, 2008 at 07:47
Chubbard sucks bums. Down with Chubbard!
Me? I worry about whether I should be more worried, but usually I’m not, so it’s hard to worry about it when I don’t have much worry to go round. Do you see?
16. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | July 8th, 2008 at 08:20
I do a little shimmy shimmy, with a two-way shuffle, when I get the worries. However despite being worried I rarely worry about being worried and thus get confused, have a smoothie, and ponder the mysteries of the world.
17. Chris | July 8th, 2008 at 13:12
I like smoothies. But I worry that they cost too much and I could more economically just have a fruit juice and save the rest of the money for something else.
What a worry.
18. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | July 9th, 2008 at 08:26
I got five Jutopia (you don’t care but I’m going to say so anyway) smoothies for only a poond, but this was only because they were going off within like 10 days.
Still, thems somes goods eats rights theres like.
19. Kevil | July 9th, 2008 at 08:48
Do you eat or drink a amoothie?
20. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | July 10th, 2008 at 09:03
A amoothies are different. You take a spoon and dig out the inside…
21. Kevil | July 10th, 2008 at 09:59
curse my fingers!
22. I-MAC | July 15th, 2008 at 12:48
You should curse them, sir, for they be full of witches!
Bring them to my cutting shop in the year 4000, and I shall see that they are cured.
You might be dead from the ageing process but the fingers will be fine 😀