Pebbles for sale
October 4th, 2009
It’s the discount pebble sale here at Marshall’s World of Pebbles! Come on down to our Discount Pebble Warehouse for some kerr-azy discounts on pebbles at prices you can’t afford to miss!
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Big white pebbles! Ideal for poncey minimalist flats where graphic designers and marketing executives live, with whitewashed floorboards and arty candles and that sort of shite. You might like to get an enormous jar of these pebbles and put it in a corner. Yeah, cos that’ll be individual. £12 a dozen. |
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Little brown pebbles! Super for sprinkling on cakes and other desserts. Or get a whole truck full of them and use them on your driveway, if you want to spend the rest of your life raking the damn things back into place again. Supposedly a good security measure but a shotgun is better and makes less noise. £42 per hundredweight. |
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One huge pebble with swirly bits! Lots of fun for the whole family can be had if your whole family are some sort of mentalists who take pleasure in looking at rocks like this one. If you are then you’ll probably appreciate being able to buy one off us at stupid prices instead of just picking up armloads of them for free at any beach. Just £150 a pop. |
So come on down for all your pebble bargains to Marshall’s World of Pebbles! Carcroft, Thorp Arch and Denby Dale. Offer must end Sunday.
Entry Filed under: Chris,Look at this,Quite nice,Things
15 Comments
1. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 4th, 2009 at 22:07
This almost got my attention but unfortunately due to the lack of offers incorporating the classic ‘ten for ten pound ten’ I was forced to shop elsewhere.
2. Kevil | October 5th, 2009 at 09:44
I’ll take 5 swirley ones please.
3. Chris | October 5th, 2009 at 11:46
That’s £1000 (including sales tax and P&P) then please.
Bring it to my door by hand.
4. Kevil | October 5th, 2009 at 12:24
Thats bloody expensive p&p! what are you posting them in, guilded elephants?
No matter… I’ll send one of my people. You’ll recognise him. He’ll be the one with a £1000.
5. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 5th, 2009 at 12:57
A £1000? Not several £100? Or a couple of £500?
I think you expect too much Kevin. You are getting swirly stones after all. Swirly!
6. Chris | October 14th, 2009 at 09:45
Look, if you’re interested in buying some stupid rocks off me, you’re clearly thick enough to pay me a grand for them. Now stop whining and give me the money.
And your PIN number.
7. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 15th, 2009 at 08:09
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?
This sort of behaviour is unacceptable. I cannot believe I am being subjected to a level of atrocity reserved for the denizens of hell and all its little minions.
I’ll take £2000.00 worth of stones.
8. Chris | October 15th, 2009 at 12:44
Thank you. Your VAT receipt is on its way to you. Delivery will be within the next three working months.
9. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 15th, 2009 at 13:37
I only work two months out of the year. Is this going to be a problem?
10. Chris | October 16th, 2009 at 12:58
No. But you might be waiting a while.
11. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 16th, 2009 at 13:35
How longs a while? I need to know now. Right now. Now.
12. Chris | October 18th, 2009 at 13:30
Well, if you work as little as you say, a slittle a syo usay, a slitt leas yous ay, then it’ll be a couple of years.
13. Ian | October 19th, 2009 at 08:14
Right. But I’ll still get them in a couple, ge tthem ina coople, getenheim eina coo ple, of years, right?
14. Kevil | October 19th, 2009 at 09:44
When do I get mine? I paid for them bloody ages ago. I even sent a man round with the money.
15. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 19th, 2009 at 13:08
You sent your mam round with the money? God you’re a bit keen aren’t you?