Home Beans Shopping Network
October 7th, 2009
Did you see that quiche? That’s nothing compared to me mam’s quiche.
Following on from the successful ‘Wacky Watch’ series from last week we have received an exclusive import from SD Productions… The Wheel of Thrusting:
This patented and remarkable piece of equipment was developed by one of the Home Beans’ own inventors and fellow contributors. It is as simple like all the great designs. All you have to do is ask it a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question then the arrow will point towards one of the two answers; if it points towards ‘Thrusting to Mariah Carey = Yes’ then the answer is ‘yes’ and if it points towards ‘Thrusting to Bing Crosby = No’ then the answer is ‘no’. That is all.
If you are indecisive and need help with your daily life you cannot do without this. It will literally save you seconds off your time and give you nice images in your head all day. The size of a pocket watch for less than a one hundred smackers. It also happens to be waterproof and each one is hand-signed and authenticated by either Russell Grant or Toya Wilcox.
Buy now! Yes, buy now!
(Please note: look and appearance of item may differ from the item shown here, please allow 28 days for delivery, please tell all your friends. Part of the ‘This Is A Good Invention’ Series).
Entry Filed under: Loins
12 Comments
1. Chris | October 14th, 2009 at 09:34
I proffer 94 smackers for one of these items and will post you same in cash in return for the sending of such article, to me, by post, forthwith and sparing no haste.
Ta.
2. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 15th, 2009 at 08:00
Thank you sir! You know, I knew that this would go down well. Because after all…
This. Is. A. Good. Invention.
Do you prefer Russell or Toya?
3. Chris | October 15th, 2009 at 12:39
Russell please. I don’t want the lay-dees edition.
4. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 15th, 2009 at 13:30
Are you sure? Free crappy red wig with every Toya edition, even though she’s probably Toyah.
Damn 80’s.
5. Chris | October 16th, 2009 at 12:57
I have wigs aplenty here. Wig me not. I’ll take the fat wizard version please.
6. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 16th, 2009 at 13:33
Is that because of that phase that Mark went through a couple of months ago? Did he ever get on stage dressed in the masking tape and lycra jumpsuit he made?
7. Chris | October 18th, 2009 at 13:26
No, he wussed out in the end. No use at all. Now send me my Russell Grant thingybob immediately, before I write a complaint to Auds, who I assume to be the owner of the Home Beans Shopping Network.
8. Ian | October 19th, 2009 at 08:11
Erm, well technically the Home Beans Shopping Network is affiliated and part of the Beans Family Network urgo its roots lie in the very foundations were type upon which means you and Kev own shares.
Aren’t I clever?
Do you still want your tat?
9. Kevil | October 19th, 2009 at 09:41
Yes, but now we know we dont have to pay for it, as we already own it.
HA, in you face McIver.
(BTW Auds is our Independant Complaints Commissioner, we have to have one by law.)
10. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 19th, 2009 at 13:07
Oh dash and blarm it, I was hoping you wouldn’t put two and two and two together but you did. And now my only two customers have gone down the shitter with everything else. With the eggs and the eggs and the eggs and the eggs…
You have to admit though it IS a good invention.
11. Chris | October 29th, 2009 at 12:05
None of this is getting me my Russell Grant branded thing, whatever it was, I’ve forgotten but I still want it very much. I have proffered 94 of my hard earned smackers for this and I damn well want to see some return on my entirely notional investment.
12. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | October 29th, 2009 at 15:00
It is on its way I assure you sir.
Just, heh, you know, heh, what with this postal strike and, heh, and all.