Posts filed under 'Mr. Cockall’s Loveliness'
Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)
Who are you?
Ebeneezer Cheesegrater
What’s the Idea?
For many years I have suffered the twin agonies of excessive nasal hair and a lack of musical talent. I’ve solved both problems in one.
What is it?
Music up your nose.
What does it do?
It’s quite simple – you go to one of my rapidly expanding chain of Nosatariums, where (for a reasonable per-hair fee) they will tie together pairs of your nose hairs to pull them taut across your nostrils. Then, with a special nasal plectrum, you can play the hairs just like a harp, making beautiful music and keeping your unsightly growths out of sight at the same time.
So what are you gonna do about it?
Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in my head >:)
June 14th, 2006
Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)
Who are you?Â
Susan Winkerplott
What’s the Idea?
I’ve developed a simple and effective way of having a drink. Simpler than turning on the tap! My idea is the soon-to-be multi-award winning Dehydrated Water.
What is it?
It’s summer refreshment in a bag. It’s lovliness in a foil package. It’s the future of drinks, snacks, the whole caboodle.
What does it do?
On a hot day you need to keep full of fluids, but not so much that when you jump up and down you hear that weird watery sound in your stomach. All you have to do is open the sachet, pour out the contents into a glass and add water. Hey presto, instant water! At the drop of a hat. Right there in front of you. It’s unbelievable.
So what are you gonna do about it?
Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in my head >:)
June 14th, 2006
Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)
Who are you?Â
Kevin: Kevin
Ian: And Ian
What’s the Idea?
Both: Pep
What is it?
Kevin: Well we decided that in today’s modern civilisation that people have lost touch with pep and what it is to be peppy. We intend to bottle pep and sell it to the common man, and woman,
Ian: And perhaps some goldfish too.
What does it do?
Kevin: It’ll make everyone feel a hell of a lot better. We’ll all be shiny happy people and we’ll love our lives, our jobs, and every day will seem like it’s the best day in the…
Ian: Kev?
Kev: Yep?
Ian: Maybe we shouldn’t then. It sounds like it would be wasted on boring normal people. What with it being a pretty powerful tool perhaps we should just market it out to Super Villains. There’s one down my road who specialises in lobsters.
Kev: Say no more. IN YOUR FACE REST OF THE WORLD! HA!
So what are you gonna do about it?
Both: Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in our heads >:)
June 5th, 2006
Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)
Who are you? Eddy Lafawitz
What’s the Idea? Thrusticles
What is it? It’s like an icicle, sort of a ice pop thing, but in the shape of a man thrusting his loins. Nothing (!) rude mind.
What does it do? On hot days you take one from the freezer and you lick it and drink the juice to keep you refreshed. They come in a variety of flavours and colours: blue, orange, yellow, apple, red, black (mmm black) and perhaps parsnips.
So what are you gonna do about it? Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in my head >:)
June 1st, 2006
Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)
Who are you? Morman Le Pongavent
What’s the Idea? Fish pen
What is it? It’s a fish that’s also a pen
What does it do? When you leave it in water it swims. When you pick it up and rub it on paper it writes. It’s a fish pen
So what are you gonna do about it? Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in my head >:)
June 1st, 2006
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