The Ker-Azy Life Of Leona Lewis
September 22nd, 2009
This morning I woke up and I decided to lie in bed a little bit longer before I got up at my usual time. My usual time is 8:12 because I like the even numbers. If I wake up at an odd numbered time I immediately close my eyes and pretend to sleep until the time flashes to an even number, than I wake up. Titter titter.
For breakfast I put two pieces of bread into the toaster and heated them up until they weren’t white anymore. Only two minutes and out they came, brown as brown, hot and toasted somewhat. After opening the fridge I decided upon two different spreads for my toast; butter and jam. It was a tough choice between strawberry and blackberry but in the end strawberry won for the following reasons:
1) it has strawberries in itÂ
2) it tastes like strawberries and
3) the other one doesn’t have strawberries in it
I put the layer of butter on before the strawberry jam because that is very important. If you don’t put the butter on first then it goes very wrong. I spent several minutes deciding whether or not to remove the crusts from the pieces of toast eventually ending on the decision to leave them on because my hair is already curly and anymore curliness won’t damage my hair. I then moved my attentions to the kettle where I stood for the next hour…
(to continue at a time when it becomes more exciting)
Entry Filed under: Bedtime stories,Gravy,Ian,Things
5 Comments
1. Kevil | September 22nd, 2009 at 12:09
Are you sure this is about Leona Lewis?
2. Chris | September 22nd, 2009 at 12:54
I was expecting some information on the superstar celeb Leona Lewis. All I find is Ian’s usual morning routine. This mack is grating my apples.
3. Ian | September 23rd, 2009 at 07:45
I was told it was about Leona Lewis but it did come from Witless Will aka The Grass From Tapass.
And for the record I haven’t had toast with butter and jam since I was like fifteen. Nope. Definitely grown out of that. Plus I have to make me own toast now and putting two spreads on takes too long. Twice as long as one. In fact.
4. Chris | September 23rd, 2009 at 15:54
You had toast with butter and jam in May. I know because I made it and I watched you eat it.
You’re just a lying scrote and I refuse to believe another word you say, until further notice.
5. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | September 23rd, 2009 at 17:19
Whaaaaaaaaaat?
It may have slipped my mind, and when I think about it I had it again on 27th June and August 3rd, 17th and once in 1963. I am such a liar.