Posts filed under 'Kev'
A man has cut off his head in protest at the costs of haircuts at his local barbers today.
Jimmy Bumble, a resident of the village Whickersham in Leicestershire, took a pair of pinking shears and sliced through his neck to leave him without a head. This comes after recent news that saw the price of a simple trim rise to the astonishing fee of £6.07.
“You can’t let things like this lie,” said Mr Bumble, 89, speaking from underneath his own armpit. “If they think that is a reasonable sum just to spend five minutes removing growing hairs from my pimply noggin, well, let them. I’d sooner cut my own head off than… oh wait.”
The village of Whickersham has received a fair amount of bad publicity recently after several accounts of granny napping and bovine juggling were reported by worried residents. People have blamed this on the tanker of glycol fog that tipped over last year, poisoning the water supply and causing general havoc.
The barbers shop in question do not wish to be named and have refused to comment on Mr Bumble’s actions, although they did offer to trim the whole crew for twenty quid.
Mac Mackford – June 2008
June 30th, 2008
If someone asks you if you are lying, and you say “yes”, what does that mean?
Why is it the that the bubbles in the bath are always white no matter what colour the liquid was?
Who designs benches?
Does a horse ever get so hungry it could eat a horse?
June 20th, 2008
Roll up! Roll up! Come one, come all…
Come in and enjoy the wonderful world of fruit based fascists, today I have great pleaseure to present you, the marvelous viewing public with…
Continue Reading May 7th, 2008
We are now all up and running again!
We do look exactly the same as we used to (except for the categories is now a drop down box) But rest assured we are nothing like the same as we used to be. We have moved up many versions of the software, which you’ll notice when you log into the admin deeley. There are also some new things like we can add picture galleries to posts. Which is nice. Basically if a button is new, click it and see what it does!
Enjoy.
April 4th, 2008
Yes ladies and gentlemen, we are back. Once again we have risen like the mighty pheonix from the burning heap of our twice hacked server.
I have restored hastily made backups of databases, trawled directories of php files looking for imposters and .htaccess files, and now, finally, we are up and pouring like the proverbial beans once more.
PS. All fucking dirty scum lowlife bastard fucking dog licking hackers, should be made to run naked through brixton with a sign saying “I hate all of you please shoot at me” with a pineapple up their arse, that’d teach em.
March 9th, 2008
I think we need to liven up this mo’ fo’ because ‘da beans hasn’t seen much action recently. We need another project to do, either a book or some more photos or something else. We can’t languish here whilst other websites (possibly) gain the ground to find the bigger audience.
Start shaking those loins for answers.
March 4th, 2008
Hello and welcome to the modern world. As I write this I am 2hours into a 2hour and 25 minute journey to london to see Chris. I’m using my Work laptop and the free Wifi provided by National Express.
In the last 2 hours I have probably looked out of thw indow for about 5 minutes. I have spent the rest of the time surfing the internet and watching Life on Mars. My question to you is… Is that a good thing?
On one hand I have been thoroughly entertained, and have been using free electricity from the socket in the side of the train. On the other hand I have whizzed blissfully unaware past all the countryside of England without so much as a “wow look at that massive flock of starlings” or some such, and I definately havent spoken to any of my fellow passengers.
Is this the ultimate in modern living, or more likely is all this insular technology the reason that society as a whole (at least in the UK and other developed nations) is falling apart?
Serious thought over now… sorry for the interruption.
February 23rd, 2008
I know, I know, its taken me ages, blah blah.
But now…. I proudly present to you:
THE BOOK
Enjoy…
February 4th, 2008
Given Kev’s seemingly endless supply of scat-isms I suggest that we put him forward for the next series of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, or whatever b*ggery b*llocks is auditioning around the same time. I mean he can also poom groodles, I mean groom poodles. That must count for something right?
We could make a bit of money from it. The proceeds could then be put forward for nationwide distribution of the ‘Nish’ series and perhaps even a publication of both copies of semi-autobiographical ‘Erudite Musings on the Human Condition’.
January 7th, 2008
Hello Boys and girls, I have a challenge for you…
I inexplicably and for no reason made this picture this morning at work:
Now I know you’re thinking that that is the best damned thing you’ve seen for ages, but you’d be wrong, clearly. So there.
What I would like you eager pups out there to do is to take this image, and do something with it, add to it, scribble on it, whatever you like. All completed entries should be emailled to me via compemetition@kevil.co.uk by pm Friday, and i’ll put them all in a handy, snack-sized, gallery for you all to enjoy. There may even be a prize!
For the full size file, click here for the jpg, and here for the full png file (6Mb).
Now get cracking!
December 12th, 2007
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