I wonder if you out there in the virtual haven of The Beans can help me answer a question which I have been pondering for a while?
Which is better a slice of cake or a whole bun?
vs 
The two things are generally evenly(ish) sized. On one hand you get the satisfaction of knowing you have eaten the whole of something but on the other hand you get to share in the joy with someone else. Which is better…. You decide…
19 comments August 20th, 2007
Yes! It’s a lovely zorse, with a weird woman on top.
I don’t really have anything more to say in this post, and its purpose was basically just to bring to your attention the vital information that zorses do exist, and that they are hybrids made when a male zebra gets jiggy with a lady horse. (If it’s the other way round, with a stallion makin’ whuppee with a zebrette, you get a hebra.)
I will now leave you with a little Zorse gallery.
 
 
30 comments August 17th, 2007
There’s something special and unique about bacon. It is the salty, slightly chewy, potentially crispy path to heaven. It is the most divine and sought-after of the meats. It is the reason that god made pigs and knives compatible with each other.
This is an ode to bacon. This post is a tribute. A moment of quiet thought in reverence to the finest meat product the world knows.
Ahhh, bacon! Please feel free to share your bacon stories here.
Here are some bacon links.
18 comments August 13th, 2007
I think you should do another Clifford because I’ve just been re-giggling at it.
I think with the right publicity you could corner the market on 90 second cartoons.
I think Clifford needs some ampage and your the guys to do it.
I think the cartoon should have some loins in it.
7 comments June 20th, 2007
Hey!
I just realised something. In my quest to find Office Four I was trying to think of other places in Leeds and Newcastle where it could be… and it was staring right in my FACE the whole time. Gentlemen, surely www.pouringbeans.com is the fourth office?
10 comments May 24th, 2007
This is a poem in hateful memory of all the slightly posh teachers at primary school who thought they could climb another rung up the social ladder by pronouncing the word poem as “poym”. It doesn’t make you sound posh, it makes you sound like an arsehole with a speech impediment. Stop it.
Anyway, this is a poem that I haven’t written yet and which I am going to bash out off the cuff in a minute, about working a night shift, which is what I’m doing.
The Night Shift
By Christopher J. Marshall
Here I sit in the office
Dark it is outside
How I long to feel
Sunbeams warm and wide.
As I sit I wonder
What the point may be
For I would not be sat here
If I were a tree.
Soon I will climb the steps
Reach another floor
I will work for one full hour
Behind a wooden door.
Some may think it crazy
Some may think it crude
But I work these hours for money
So I can buy some food.
8 comments April 23rd, 2007
BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHTY WHYBIRD!
Here’s a little song to accompany her wonderful magnificence
Whybird, Whybird
Why are you a bird?
Did you know I was heard
Someone call you a turd?
I hit them Whybird
I hit them for you
How dare they compare
You to a poo
So you only live on in our memories
It’s better than never at all
This picture honours your presence
Load up the Whytech mother fucker!
The End
5 comments March 27th, 2007
Nee neh neh nuh, nun nun nun nuh
Nee neh neh nuh, nun nun nun nuh
Nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuh
Nee neh neh nuh, nun nun nun nuh (and so on…)
11 comments February 11th, 2007
This saddens me because I had plenty of nesssssss to upload… namely pictures of my new gaff complete with furnishment and stuffness in it. Damned techno-broken ness.
It might be because I’m on a public access computer ness thing so I’ll try again later, but if it still doesn’t work, then heads will roll.
Rockalula!
15 comments January 23rd, 2007
Over the last couple of days I went on a massive weekend-long bender. It wasn’t a homoerotic bender or a drug bender, nor was I getting drunk or pissed up on booze. No, I was ODing on my new flat. I went in there and had a big sniff and didn’t leave it all weekend. Why? Because it’s MINE!
This is a picture of my new abode to be, into which I will insert my face on the 30th December. After that time the Chris Hotel will be available for anyone who cares to haul their candy ass down to London Town.
I’m bored of typing in that stupid way so I’m just doing it normally now.
The white-walled wonder you see above is costing me the breathtaking sum of £195 a week. If only I had that sort of money to burn! Instead, I can’t burn it because I have to give it all to my landlord. Grrr. Them’s the sort of apples that make me skint.
7 comments December 19th, 2006