“Disabled people don’t go shopping” – Tina
“She’s one sandwich short of a barbeque” – Audrey
“I saw it on the radio this morning” – Emma
“Can you wash cats?” – unknown munter
“Men’s winkies look like baby elephants gone wrong” – Nicola
Sometimes I wonder how the female species dare to ask for equality if this is the best they can come up with… just kidding 😉
9 comments June 1st, 2007
Hey!
I just realised something. In my quest to find Office Four I was trying to think of other places in Leeds and Newcastle where it could be… and it was staring right in my FACE the whole time. Gentlemen, surely www.pouringbeans.com is the fourth office?
10 comments May 24th, 2007
This is a solo mission I have granted to one Kevin Hill, second member of the Saint King’s personal service. It was forwarded on Saturday so I, the Saint King, king of all the saints and their saintly behaviour, would hope it would have arrived by now.
Task Two – ‘Mending’. As you are all aware the dictaphone Daisy broke a week or two ago and as such a certain person’s related quest is now postponed for the moment. Striking up such a brilliant brainwave together we decided it might be a fitting task to task one of the new members of the Saint King’s Army with the task of trying to fix Daisy. A letter, the usual disclaimer to the authorities and Daisy should now be in the posession of one Hill. He is to try his best; subsequent missions will be harder so this is a good time to get on the donkey and ride that horse to kingdom come.
Task 3 to follow shortly.
15 comments May 16th, 2007
The recruitment task has been completed. The two members of the new Saint King Army should be returning their forms as we speak. In the meantime the Saint King, king oft he saints and all their saintly behaviour, has set a task for himself before assigning to those in his army.
Task One – ‘Harassment’. I have chosen a celebrity at random and shall be sending precisely one fan letter to their fan address each week. This is to continue until one of the two scenarious happens:
1 – The celebrity writes back.
2 – The celebrity’s representative writes to ask to stop sending letters.
I’m hoping it will be the first one but who can tell in this topsy-turvy world of ours. The letters are polite and well-mannered under the pseudonym Ian McIver, one of the Saint King’s alter egos. And what an ego it is! The first letter has been written and is due to be sent either tomorrow or Saturday depending on the queues in the manky post office in town. Who is the celebrity?
Emily Browning
Check google and wikipedia for pictures and information. Psychadelic Furs!
19 comments May 3rd, 2007
Unfortunately there was a tragic event that struck last night and because of it ‘The Mackford Files’ will have to go into storage for a while. The dictaphone, or Daisy as I had come to call her, was knocked off by the shoddy wardrobe she was sitting in and fell to the floor. Nothing appears to be wrong with her but she now refuses to work. I have had a few words with an agency and hope to have a replacement soon. Can we all please have a few minutes silence for Daisy though. She lasted ten files, ten files of lovliness, and we all loved her.
God bless you Daisy.
19 comments April 25th, 2007
I, being Saint King, king of all the saints and their saintly behaviour, require other beings, whether sainty, kingly or not, to join me, the Saint King, in my quest. It’s a dangerous quest and one that requires the king of the saints, Saint King, to embark outside of his usual kingly responsibilities governing those lovely saints.
If you wish to join the Saint King please reply to this message.
 This is a stand-in for me by the way. I generally don’t have a moustache.
20 comments April 17th, 2007
Oh by the way Whybird is the new face of SD Jam Productions. Not that we’re copying Chris’s made up firm or anything.
An interview with Whybird to follow. Exciting, like a loin of jam!
3 comments March 27th, 2007
BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHTY WHYBIRD!
Here’s a little song to accompany her wonderful magnificence
Whybird, Whybird
Why are you a bird?
Did you know I was heard
Someone call you a turd?
I hit them Whybird
I hit them for you
How dare they compare
You to a poo
So you only live on in our memories
It’s better than never at all
This picture honours your presence
Load up the Whytech mother fucker!
The End
5 comments March 27th, 2007
| Professor Chris Marshall. Professor of Cell Biology … chris.marshall@icr.ac.uk. Location: Chester Beatty Laboratories, London … |
Amazon.co.uk: Chris Marshall: Books
| The I Ching Pack by Chris Marshall (Paperback – Jan 2005) … Cricketer’s Who’s Who by Chris Marshall and Richard Lockwood (Paperback – 17 April 2006) … |
| My Photo: Name: Chris Marshall: Location: Cincinnati, Ohio,. Married to Nicki with 3 kids, Ali, Meg and Zach and I believe the Rocky movies are the only … |
4 comments March 16th, 2007
| A personal web page belonging to Kevin Hill describing my interests in television and movies, my joke archive, and my trips to Guatemala and Hawaii. |
Kevin Hill’s Home Page — Hill Family Portal
| by Kevin Hill — last modified 2007-03-05 08:29 (C) 1996-2006 Kevin M. Hill … I’m Kevin Hill and this is my homepage. I am not a tv show. … |
Kevin Hill Relocation Real Estate Home Page
| Relocation Real Estate specializes in Residential Real Estate in Melbourne, on the east coast of Florida. Whether you’re looking for river, ocean or lake … |
7 comments March 16th, 2007