Posts filed under 'Ian'
It’s very simple (I just thought it up). All you do is you say:
When was the last time you got your knob out in public?
Their look will probably be of disgust and they will deny all knowledge of ever doing such a thing. Then you look smug and say:
So your trousers must be quite wet then? 😀
Then you laugh and walk away because you’re cleverer than them and it’ll take them a while to work out what’s the beef. Ha! One in the eye for me. Try it on tards!
October 31st, 2006
Following on from the recent discussion with Marshall about company names, whereby we decided a proper company name must contain:
1. The person’s christian name
2. What the company does
In order to fully comply with our standards I have sought and found one that may rival ‘John’s Replacement Windows’ in the obvious stakes. Yesterday on the back of a bus I noticed an advertisement for ‘Gary Hall – Windows, Doors and Conservatories’. Now this almost beats John were it not for the fact that Gary Hall doesn’t say what he does with the windows, doors and conservatories. I mean he could easily use them to service cars or chase bears away from picnic grounds… it just blows my mind. If Gary had taken a little more time with it he could have reached John’s level but unfortunately he just falls short. Nevermind
October 31st, 2006
Kev, obviously you know what this word signifies/means because you used to say it a lot when we’d be doing random shit for constantly falling. I’ve asked four people here today what doody means and if they’ve every heard of it and NONE of them (three Newcastle, one Middlesbrough) knew about it! :O Am I missing something here?
Marshall? Sarah? Do you know of doody? :O
October 30th, 2006
Q. How many badgers would it take to support the Empire State Building?
A. The Empire State building weights 331,818 tonnes. The average weight of an adult European badger is 11kg. So, according to Newton’s third law, you would need 30,102,040 badgers.
Start rounding them up! 🙂
  ÂÂ
October 27th, 2006
Today there was a bus strike. I knew about this strike but yet was unprepared for the role that was selected for me to handle. The bus came at 8:15am and I got on where I was told not only were they not selling week tickets today and only 50p was required but that the driver wasn’t too sure of the route the bus took. So I was forced to stand at the front with him directing his unsure ass around the many twists and turns of the bus route of the 22.
I could have sent us all over the place but I chose to go the right way. I CHOSE! I WAS IN CHARGE! Gimme power gimme gimme! More more more, now now now, mmmmmm… loin-ripplingly good!
October 23rd, 2006
I’ve decided to start a new category for all those silly bints that plague our everyday life. This month I have decided to nominate Katie Melua. Why you may ask? Well, not only is she still the blandest of the bland but in an effort to drum up publicity she performed underwater yesterday at some cruddy oil rig. I don’t know about you but if I was a rig worker the last thing I would want is to be stuck all the way down there, in a hot, claustrophobic environment with, “There are nine million bicycles in Bejing…” echoing around the room. Surely that’d be the ideal place to organise a lynching. Noone would know and there are no laws under the sea >:) or is that just me? Then she just flew straight home to London.
What a silly bint.
October 3rd, 2006
I’m confused or I have confused myself today. A fax is a copy of something sent to you. Facsimile means copy. So if you have a copy of a fax that means you have a copy of a copy, right? So if you photocopy the fax does that mean you have a copy of a copy of a copy? And can the original fax be classed as an original when it’s a copy in the first place? Is the original fax merely a copy and can never be an original?
My loins can’t go on anymore!
September 25th, 2006
Look:
www.myspace.com/loinsfordacademy
I need a hobby 😛
September 25th, 2006
Fly my pretties, FLY!
*Unleashes his new army of ninjas to throttle Kevin*
September 21st, 2006
Inspired by Ninjas
Created by Pampers
September 14th, 2006
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