Posts filed under 'Look at this'
This made me weep hot manly tears of dismay:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/LEGO-Batman-7785-Arkham-Asylum/dp/B000EJ9OJK/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&s=kids&qid=1252481289&sr=1-10
Then this sealed the deal and I lost four days:
I wish I had a box that told me when things were going to get deleted or disappear so that I can go out, buy all the suckers, and then join the rip off ebay crowd so I can make a packet too. Plus… I want them. I don’t particularly want to build them but owning them would make me smile like a Jabberwocky. Is that wrong of me?
September 9th, 2009
As handsome a picture as any you’ll see in the calendar this year. I’m very pleased with this – we went to great lengths to get just the right shot and luckily it all paid off.
EEFY McJEEFY knows a few people in the Admiralty, so we got a knock-down rate of £18,000,000 to hire an aircraft carrier for a fortnight. We sailed it out to the Indian Ocean for just the right shade of blue water, then set it off towards the helicopter (which we stole in Madeira) at full speed. EEFY was up in the copter, lining up the shot, and on his signal I did a fabulous pirouette off the far side of the vessel. Dressed in a see-through nightie and the most fabulous string of pearls, the picture captures me in mid flight as I spin gracefully towards the water. The control tower completely obscures any view of me from EEFY McJEEFY’s vantage point.
A beautiful shot of a single moment in time, captured perfectly, I think you’ll agree. It’s definitely one of my favourites.
July 10th, 2009
Do you remember the days when our websites were just endless lists about things that didn’t mean anything?
Well, ours was I don’t know about yours. It was easy, it was simple, it was just plain fucking lazy let’s face it but every so often it doesn’t hurt to re-vist them for tear-stained nostalgia. So to honour another year of da beans’ existence let me present, in no particular order, the top five weird names from the Metro map I saw before going out tonight.
Drum roll please!
- Lamesley
- Kibblesworth (good name for a dog)
- Biddick (juvenile but funny)
- Wideopen (again, very juvenile)
- Witherwack (my personal favourite)
See? Don’t you wish we could all do lists and be happy?
July 7th, 2009
For June’s picture EEFY McJEEFY and I went out to the countryside to get a more rural, natural feel. This cow provided the perfect cover for me. I am, of course, lying provocatively on the grass just in front of the hedge in the distance, wearing a cheeky PVC nurse’s uniform that is a little bit too revealing, accessorised with some fluffy handcuffs.
June 16th, 2009
Woo, guess who’s back…. Thats right, WE ARE!
Continue Reading June 12th, 2009
I’ve worked out what we’re missing here at Da Beans. We’re like a glossy magazine, full of interesting articles and views. But we don’t have a nice page where you can sit down with a warm beverage and a pen and stretch your brain muscles.
That’s why I have put together the first Beans Quiz Page. Enjoy!
Numbersearch
2 4 6 3 5 7 8 9
2 9 2 3 9 7 4 2
7 2 3 3 0 4 5 2
1 9 2 5 8 4 6 6
7 2 1 1 9 3 1 5
Find the following: 1925, 7051, 8095, 79329, 20082555.
General knowledge quiz
- What is the world’s biggest shape?
- Who invented tortoises?
- Where is red kept?
- How many lemons are there?
- Fourteen?
Join the dots
. …. . .. …. .. .. ….. . . …… .. . ….. . . … … … …. .. .
. ….. . : … .. : …….. : ………. . . . .. . . . . . .. …. … ..
Answers are on the other side of this page.
April 27th, 2009
The Not Report was not an idea by Christopher J Marshall and written by Ian P McIver from a task created by Christopher J Marshall during a conversation with Ian P McIver.
You will not get the chance to read about my fruitless efforts at trying to get a new life in the space of a few days, nor will you see the whole thing set out in a pleasing format.
Date: 20th April 2009
Subject: The Not Report
Writer: Ian “Mac Mac Mac Mac” McIver
The Not Report
The Assignment: To try and get a new job and a new girlfriend by close of business on 20th April 2009.
Equipment: One not attractive nor interesting twenty-five year old man, not a whole world out there waiting to be infiltrated by a budding singleton and not the population of Newcastle.
Method: The acquisition of a new life (those parts being further employment and a “better half”.
Report: Upon receipt of the initial instructions I did not take it upon myself to set out the goals that I was trying to achieve. As well as this I did not take the time to spend any time looking in the right places for love that generally include local bars, pubs and dating websites. After the first day I did not think about what I was trying to do. After the second day I also did not think about what I was trying to do. Approaching the end of the weekend I did not actually leave the house other than to take my respective son, aka The Chop, back to his proper home over in Throckley.
At the beginning of today I did not check any job websites nor obtain the jobs paper that is issued weekly on a Thursday in the Tyne and Wear area.
As a result of this it appears as though I not only did not get the new job I was hoping for but I am not attached, nor in a relationship with, nor have any prospects with the opposite sex.
Here is a collection of photos I did not take to further explain my predicament.
Conclusion: Not doing things is not the right way to go about problems.
April 22nd, 2009
A stupid ginger appears. He sees an advertisement that says if you give someone your phone they will give you money for it. He goes looking for his old phone in his attic and surprisingly it is propped up handily, waiting to be plucked from what looks like a plant pot. The stupid ginger chuckles to himself. He checks the website and chuckles again. Minutes later he receives a cheque for £32.00 meaning this money will go to him for being stupid and not selling his phone on Ebay like everyone else does.
I love television me.
April 12th, 2009
UNBELIEVABLY it’s been nearly a year since I last bestowed upon you a week of the week, so this week it’s time for another week of the week to be manifested. This week’s week will therefore be a lovely week that will leave you weak at the knees. It is possibly the most varied week of the week so far, taking the week fan from the grandeur of Papal announcements and two wars down to the tragedy of one man dying whose first name and location remain unknown.
Our week of the week this week is 14-20 August 1898.
Sunday 14 August 1898 – the USA sends 11,000 troops to occupy the Philippines, a turning point that saw the end of the Spanish-American War and the start of the Philippine-American War.
Monday 15 August 1898 – Hugh D. Auchinloss, who would later be Virginia’s delegate to the Republican National Convention, celebrates his first birthday.
Tuesday 16 August 1898 – Pope Leo XIII issues a Quam Religiosa expressing his sadness at the introduction of a law in Peru that permitted civil marriage.
Wednesday 17 August 1898 – Mr. Price dies.
Thursday 18 August 1898 – Sarah McGlone, 60 years of age, falls down a well in County Armagh. Peter Hughes, a farmer, took great personal risk in being lowered down the well. He rescued her.
Friday 19 August 1898 – Science Magazine‘s latest issue is published, including an interesting article titled “Observations on Blue Jays” by Dr. Hiram M. Stanley on page 223.
Saturday 20 August 1898 – Sigmund Freud writes to Wilhelm Fliess, saying “Your lines have brought back to me the pleasures of my vacation.”
A rapturously joyful week, you will no doubt agree, and hoorah for that!
March 30th, 2009
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