The Ballad of El-Jamo!

Here-O the lowely ballad
Of sadness and despair
The tragic tale of a pitiful creation
Who’s life was filled with woe and devestation

(see ‘Sambahambubahallaballamambayo’)

2 comments June 7th, 2006

Chuffin’ ‘eck it’s a blinder out there!

Chuffin’ ‘eck it’s a blinder out there!

 

*I thought it deserved it’s own post* 😉

4 comments June 7th, 2006

Timmy Mallett

Today I interviewed Timmy Mallett on the phone.

What a legend 😀

Hopefully I’ll get it online soon.

5 comments June 6th, 2006

Pep – a novel idea

Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)

Who are you? 

Kevin: Kevin

Ian: And Ian

What’s the Idea?

Both: Pep

What is it?

Kevin: Well we decided that in today’s modern civilisation that people have lost touch with pep and what it is to be peppy. We intend to bottle pep and sell it to the common man, and woman,

Ian: And perhaps some goldfish too.

What does it do?

Kevin: It’ll make everyone feel a hell of a lot better. We’ll all be shiny happy people and we’ll love our lives, our jobs, and every day will seem like it’s the best day in the…

Ian: Kev?

Kev: Yep?

Ian: Maybe we shouldn’t then. It sounds like it would be wasted on boring normal people. What with it being a pretty powerful tool perhaps we should just market it out to Super Villains. There’s one down my road who specialises in lobsters.

Kev: Say no more. IN YOUR FACE REST OF THE WORLD! HA!

So what are you gonna do about it?

Both: Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in our heads >:)

8 comments June 5th, 2006

Movie review: Theatre of Blood

Time for another Barry Norman moment…

Theatre of Blood (1973) dir. Hickox
Starring Vincent Price, Diana Rigg, plus Arthur Lowe (from Dad’s Army)

Rating: 4/5

It’s a British movie from the seventies with credibility! Yes, it’s a Vincent Price movie and yes, by this time he was already a bit of a parody of himself. But it’s widely regarded as one of his best. As a horror film it’s not particularly scary, it’s just good fun with enjoyable gory bits and some mystery.

Mr Price plays Edward Lionheart, a gifted West End actor who only ever played Shakespeare roles, for which he was panned by the critics. He was denied the critics’ award – something that would have marked the peak of his career – for not being innovative enough. Now everyone presumes him dead, but he has taken up residence in an abandoned theatre and – with the help of his daughter and the band of tramps who saved his life – he kills off the critics who denied him the award one by one.

The plot is a little sparse, but the film is saved by the way the killings take place: he murders each in the manner of a Shakespeare play, working through the plays he appeared in from the first to the last. It makes for some particularly inventive and gory killings. There’s also a swordfight on trampolines.
The plot still sounds pretty sparse, but it really needs nothing more. This is seventies horror, not Pride and Prejudice. Seven bloody killings in 90 minutes makes sure the film moves along at a brisk pace and the whole thing is executed with a witty sense of humour.

Good quality horror and gore that doesn’t take itself too seriously – and it has Vincent Price performing his face off. Brilliant fun from start to end. Watch it – an easy 4/5 jams!

This film on IMDB

3 comments June 2nd, 2006

Wooooo

Just so you don’t think I’m a complete utter waste of space and have been dossing around for the past 6 months I thought I’d tell you I have got a job, yay! Its only 22 hours at the minute but may go full time and it’s basically taking older people into schools to talk to kids about the war etc. Just to note I’ll only accept cheques of happiness over £40,000, no time wasters please.

8 comments June 2nd, 2006

Thrusticles – a novel idea

Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)

Who are you? Eddy Lafawitz

What’s the Idea? Thrusticles

What is it? It’s like an icicle, sort of a ice pop thing, but in the shape of a man thrusting his loins. Nothing (!) rude mind.

What does it do? On hot days you take one from the freezer and you lick it and drink the juice to keep you refreshed. They come in a variety of flavours and colours: blue, orange, yellow, apple, red, black (mmm black) and perhaps parsnips.

So what are you gonna do about it? Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in my head >:)

4 comments June 1st, 2006

Fish Pen – a novel idea

Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrows geniuses (using song)

Who are you?  Morman Le Pongavent

What’s the Idea? Fish pen

What is it? It’s a fish that’s also a pen

What does it do? When you leave it in water it swims. When you pick it up and rub it on paper it writes. It’s a fish pen

So what are you gonna do about it? Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in my head >:)

2 comments June 1st, 2006