Pain
January 15th, 2012
“Somewhere along the way they forget to remove the bananas.”
It has been a pretty busy weekend. The key points to remember is that most weekends are busy weekends so you have to provide details for other people so that you don’t sound as though you’re covering for the fact that all you did was sit in your pyjamas and eat olives and tinned pineapple because you couldn’t be bothered to leave your house to go to the shops.
Along with Reuben’s seventh birthday, which was canny, I re-watched a very good film I haven’t seen in a long while (‘Bubba Ho Tep’) and then got smashed in the hand several times by a plastic golfing club. I’m sure when the lovely men and women of wherever decided to get together and make Gator Golf they did not envisage the child players of the aforementioned game using their sporting implements as weapons. Or perhaps they did. Maybe they’re sitting somewhere nice, because they’ve sold so many where they are must be nice, laughing at the tiny army of golfing warriors they’re creating every single day. Reuben has a good aim when he’s not thinking about it. Twice he managed to single out my left hand, the second time causing a tiny bruise to appear. It still smarts now.
I also wrote a song about how to spell the word ‘cowl’, which I shall now relay to this empty internet room:
Everybody knows how to spell ‘owl’,
But do you know how to spell ‘cowl’?
Come on everyone!
Join in the fun!
First you spell ‘owl’ with an O W L
Then you put a C on the start. That’s swell.
That’s how you spell ‘owl’
And that’s how you spell ‘cowl’.
Didn’t we learn something interesting today?
I can see primary school, and possibly even some secondary school, teachers up and down the country getting down with this shit. I’ll crack off a tune and it’ll be solid gold by the time you get to hear about it.