Silly Bint of the Month: Glasvegas
February 22nd, 2009
Scotland is very good at producing glum rock bands. At the very cheeriest end are bands like the Fratellis, who have a vague sheen* of upbeat cheeriness but actually have no real substance to them anyway. Nothing they say means anything. In the middle of the scale are bands like Del Amitri who have a superficial sing-along niceness but are ultimately quite maudlin and have something of a victim complex.
The other end of the scale – the very crowded end – is where the rest of the bands go. Idlewild and Ultravox and all that. Glasvegas are currently squatting at the darkest corner of that spectrum, frowning and grunting at passers-by.
Glasvegas are really a modern-day Ultravox: pompous, pretentious, deeply miserable and with a very acute sense of their own importance. Their “wall of sound” (for which read, “big noisy tuneless background that is the same in every song”) gives every tuneless wail the same relentlessly funereal atmosphere of annoyance.
The lead singer, with his bouffant hair (Morrissey circa 1989) and too-cool-for-this-shit attitude (Midge Ure circa all his life) makes him particularly ripe for binthood, and I recommend that he is the bintiest bint of this month, with other band members in a secondary bint status.
In short: Glasvegas = major net loss.
* Buff to sheen.
Entry Filed under: Chris,Rants,Silly Bint of the Month
18 Comments
1. Kevil | February 22nd, 2009 at 23:40
I have never heard of them, so will offer no resistance.
Down with Glasvegas and their gittish ways!
2. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | February 24th, 2009 at 09:15
I’ve never liked them. I remember when they were the next big thing and I heard that song ‘Daddy’s Gone’ which I laughed all the way through because it was awful. Then upon recently seeing that video for some stupidly-named song ‘Flowers and Football Jumpers’ I again started howling. It’s not just because they’re awful and hyped to buggery. It’s not just because the lead singer was on the Buzzcocks and didn’t contribute at all behind his dense sunglasses. It’s not even that they’re so far up their own arse they can’t see past the rectum, it’s because people actually think they’re good and I bet the lead singer jacks off over a picture of himself every night!
3. Chris | February 24th, 2009 at 10:24
They’ve passed through “next big thing” and seem to be “current big thing”. The shite talked about them is incredible – the most important band in years and all that. As far as I can tell it’s some tosser with stupid hair whining about something I don’t care about.
His appearance on Buzzcocks was actually criminal. They should have paid him a negative fee for that. Net loss.
4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 3rd, 2009 at 09:13
It’s the biggest Net Loss on the British music scene since The Libertines decided to get together, create a bit of a buzz, fall apart and then leave us listening to sub-standard guitar indie sh*te for six years and counting. And even then they only did like two good songs. Was it worth it? Was it chuff.
Kev if you imagine the whiniest music ever and then crank it up a notch and stick a bad Joe Strummer impersonator at the front with huge sunglasses on that’s pretty much what Glasvegas is.
5. Chris | March 3rd, 2009 at 11:19
But he’s not singing though, is he? No, he’s just whining, vaguely in time to the music, about how awful his life is.
If it’s that bad there’s no need to share it with the rest of us. Go away and be miserable on your own, and come back when you’ve cheered up a bit. Silly bint.
6. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 4th, 2009 at 08:25
Judging by his behaviour and attitude I think he’ll be plugging the misery card for the rest of her “career” and I use that in the very loosest sense of the word. I hope he loses his sh*tty glasses down a manhole.
7. Kevil | March 4th, 2009 at 13:40
Sounds a bit like morrisey and the smiths then?
8. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 4th, 2009 at 13:59
HEY NOW don’t be doing that young whipper snapper. The Smiths’ contribution to British indie music is untouchable. Let’s not be going crazy or nothing. After all, Chris Started Something So He Should Finish (ah ha ha ha ha…).
9. Chris | March 4th, 2009 at 18:38
Incendiary words, Mr Hill. We will have to have a little chat.
10. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 5th, 2009 at 08:38
(Thinks that worked quite well, and we avoided a possible grand mal situation, but now by submitting this Chris hasn’t finished the conversation it was me and it’s all ruined now ah) FOR GOD’S SAKE!
11. Auds | March 9th, 2009 at 13:55
i quite like the Smiths. I used to be one.
12. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 11th, 2009 at 09:29
Stop gloating Jermyn, no-one likes a gloater.
Get wit program and start slagging off the Glasvegas slags!
13. Auds | March 11th, 2009 at 13:07
dunno who they are. As you are aware, I only listen to Sarah Kennedy and Terry Wogan on the radio. Anything else makes me ears bleed.
14. Kevil | March 11th, 2009 at 14:18
Try breaking yourself into the 21st Century gently by listening to Chris Evans.
15. Auds | March 11th, 2009 at 14:35
I do but he keeps blabbing on about some baby or other.
16. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 12th, 2009 at 08:58
BABY!
17. Chris | March 12th, 2009 at 13:34
Mm.. ahh.. baby!
18. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 18th, 2009 at 09:27
YEAH!