Newsboost Zoom Flume – Eddie Outrageous quits music
July 27th, 2009
Outspoken and morally incorrect “musician” Eddie Outrageous has today confirmed that he is quitting the music business, citing claims that it isn’t the same as it was when he began in 2007.
“I mean it’s just all wrong now, all wrong. I wanted to inspire people and make some money on the side, I wanted to get out of the job I got at my father’s bank and pull some strings in other fields. I’m doing it for all the wrong reasons now.”
Eddie, real name Edward Corinthian Parlour III, burst onto the always-wankable indie music scene in October 2007. His first band, ‘Chaos Under Fire’, released only seven minutes of music before splitting. He then went on to work under several different names including, ‘Never Gonna Make It’, ‘Struggling To Get A Deal’, ‘Losing Battle’ and ‘The Final Straw’, none of which cracked the UK top 40. This could, however, also be due to the fact that due to Eddie’s perfectionism he could never work with any other musicians for more than half a day before having an arguement.
“What can I say? I just like doing things the way I do them rather than the way other people do them, because they do them wrong.”
Over his entire “career” Eddie has spent more time in the tabloids than the charts, rehab and probably his own home. There was the famous cake wrestling incident outside Westminster Abbey, the ‘What Did Bob Geldof Ever Do For Me?’ festival in Hampstead Heath and of course his on-off affair with septuagenarian Countess Closey Chuzzwick.
The bitter news of Outrageous’ departure has been met with a decidedly silent response from everyone, which has more than likely something to do with the fact that nobody likes him and the only reason people put up with him is that they bought papers so that they could hate him some more. Let’s face it; if your entire career can be summed up in five very short paragraphs you’re not doing something right.
Entry Filed under: Noos Flash
10 Comments
1. Chris | August 2nd, 2009 at 15:24
I have his first album. The twenty second ballad “We” is a self-love masterpiece.
2. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | August 2nd, 2009 at 23:56
I can’t believe you’re a fan. I thought all that wankery wouldn’t have been up your street, even though 9 out of 10 times it literally was.
3. Kevil | August 3rd, 2009 at 13:57
He sounds a lot like our own Mr Doherty.
4. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | August 4th, 2009 at 08:23
They had inter-crossing lives and even once p*ssed in the same bin albeit at different times. Eddie was at 1:31pm and Docherty was 1:33pm, both right after the marching bands going through Leicester Square.
Priceless.
5. Chris | August 4th, 2009 at 12:14
No, I hate him, I’m not a fan at all. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear. I don’t own any of his crap music and I hate all of it that I’ve heard.
6. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | August 4th, 2009 at 13:44
Look at the one eighty we got going on here!
One minute you love him and the next you’ve turned your back. What’s it to be sir?
7. Chris | August 5th, 2009 at 11:22
I’m his biggest fan. I have two of each of his albums, one to listen to and one to look at.
8. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | August 10th, 2009 at 08:47
That’s almost like me and Gavin Degraw. He is like the BEST singer to ever come out of anywhere at anytime. I have seven copies of each of his albums, one for each day of the week. On that day I spend the whole day just listening to them over and over.
I am living life to its fullest.
9. Chris | August 11th, 2009 at 08:46
That’s nothing like me. I can’t stand Eddie Outrageous. How dare you suggest otherwise.
10. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver | August 16th, 2009 at 19:21
Okay, well seeing as you have completely made your mind up we can end this post like all the others.
Jazz hands and promiscuous mysogynistic jokes at the ready!