I Want To Destroy Everything

November 23rd, 2009

I’m confused. I’m mystified. I’m dragging myself all over the place and not settling on any sort of sane or reasonable explanation.

December. Prime Panto season, right? So why is it that every year I am forced to watch posters of these two knob jockeys crop up around Newcastle?

http://www.theatreroyal.co.uk/whats_on/pantomine.asp

The poster boasts that the two main actors, and I use the term loosely, Danny Adams and Clive Webb are returning again for what seems like the fifth year in a row due to, and I quote, “overwhelming public demand”. Overwhelming public demand? Who are these people that their lives are so devoid of any life or sense of purpose that they go into the Theatre Royal on a regular basis to enquire when those two lovely lads Mr Adams and Mr Webb are returning? Do they have an “Overwhelming public demand” voting box and whoever gets the most votes they get the moniker to appear on their next poster?

Bring back the Chuckle Brothers. All is forgiven.

Entry Filed under: Bedtime stories,Rants,Shut up,Tragic

15 Comments

  • 1. Kevil  |  November 24th, 2009 at 09:58

    I’ve seen the Chuckle Brothers in panto, and also Russ Abbot, though not the same one i dont think.

    On a very related note… I fucking hate panto.

  • 2. Chris  |  November 24th, 2009 at 12:53

    I’ve never been to a panto, and I have absolutely no interest in going to one. I must therefore question what relevance this has to my life. I don’t know who these two bastards are, and I will hopefully never find out.

  • 3. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 24th, 2009 at 14:48

    I went to one panto once and that’s only because it was a local one and it had someone in I knew from work and because I got a lift home and because it was very cheap and because I thought Reuben might enjoy it and because… it didn’t have any Z-listers in it.

    You’ve… you’ve seen the Chuckle Brothers?

  • 4. Chris  |  November 24th, 2009 at 16:46

    I have never seen the Chuckle Brothers. But I have met Gaby Roslin.

  • 5. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 25th, 2009 at 09:11

    I have never seen the Chuckle Brothers. But I have met Keith Chegwin.

  • 6. Chris  |  November 25th, 2009 at 11:13

    I think we’re equal.

  • 7. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 25th, 2009 at 22:15

    I think it’s Kev’s turn now, come on:

    “I haven’t met Gaby Roslin but I have met…”

  • 8. Kevil  |  November 25th, 2009 at 23:30

    I’ve never met Gaby Roslin but I have sat Next to Sandy Toksvig on a train.

  • 9. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 26th, 2009 at 23:11

    You said it wrong. Say it right or not at all. Don’t make me get Nelly Furtado on you!

  • 10. Kevil  |  November 27th, 2009 at 13:29

    I haven’t met Gaby Roslin but I have sat Next to Sandy Toksvig on a train.

  • 11. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  November 27th, 2009 at 21:31

    Slightly better but still slightly whiffy apples. Let’s carry on.

    I haven’t sat next to Sandy Toksvig on a train but I did shake hands and meet Joe Strummer from the Clash.

  • 12. Chris  |  December 1st, 2009 at 17:33

    I think Radio 4’s resident lesbian is actually Sandi Tøksvig. I like to think so anyway.

  • 13. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  December 1st, 2009 at 19:46

    Sandi Toksvig is a lesbian?

    I give up. There’s no hope anymore.

  • 14. Chris  |  December 2nd, 2009 at 12:14

    Yes, she is. I know everything about her because I wrote a song about her a couple of years ago. It sounds like this.

  • 15. Ian "Mac Mac Mac Mac" McIver  |  December 2nd, 2009 at 23:14

    That doesn’t like me. It crashed my computer therefore I don’t like that. That can mack right off!

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