We are now all up and running again!
We do look exactly the same as we used to (except for the categories is now a drop down box) But rest assured we are nothing like the same as we used to be. We have moved up many versions of the software, which you’ll notice when you log into the admin deeley. There are also some new things like we can add picture galleries to posts. Which is nice. Basically if a button is new, click it and see what it does!
Enjoy.
12 comments April 4th, 2008 Kevil
It seems The Beans is a bit ill. I’m not really sure why but the only option i seem to have to fix the damn thing is to upgrade the version of the software it runs on.
This has one large downside though. The design we currently use for the site is not compatable with the new software version. So we would most likely have to change the design. Shall I do it? Email Me.
16 comments March 31st, 2008 Kevil
Good evening, I’m Splash Gordon and welcome to the First Annual Duck-Stacking Extravaganza. We’re here in the beautiful city of Keighley with seven competators who are destined for glory. I won’t bother to mention all of their names as the games are about to begin but just for some cheap laughs there’s a man called Hudie Doody and a lady with celotape over her shoes who goes by the name of Royal Tw*t.
Oh and we’ve started, off they go. Each person has picked up their first duck and… they’re finding it very hard to place them on top of the second. The seconds, burp, pardon me, the seconds have actually done a runner. They’re refusing to stay in one place and let these people put another of their species on their head. I think that’s a little hypacritical don’t you think, Jim?
“Absolutely”
Just what I was thinking. They’re bringing on additional staff to help with the stacking of the ducks however there’s not enough to round and… yes, they’re asking the three people who have come to watch this momentous event to assist. Three minutes have passed and nobody has gotten past one duck. OH WAIT… no, another let down. Speaking of let down did I tell you about my recent surgery, Jim?
“Unfortunately yes.”
Well let’s go over it again to make sure everyone at home knows too. It started with this huge clump of hair just… *end transmission*
7 comments March 19th, 2008 Ian
Time for a communal poem. It’s dead easy. I will provide the start of this epic poem detailing epic events, and you write another verse for it to continue the story. It’s like Jackanory, but with rhyming and on a website.
Pie
Jurgen van Hoolen had pie on his head
He didn’t know why and it made him quite red
He woke up one morning and it was just there
Sticky and crusty and fixed to his hair
From that day to this he travelled the land
He rubbed it with solvent, he rubbed it with sand
Try as he might to shake off the pie
The pie would not budge and he let out a sigh
He went to a doctor, a witch and a priest
Who promised him cure with faith or with yeast
But no-one could fix it, not one of the men
Poor Jurgen gave up. But suddenly, then…
6 comments March 17th, 2008 Chris
Yes ladies and gentlemen, we are back. Once again we have risen like the mighty pheonix from the burning heap of our twice hacked server.
I have restored hastily made backups of databases, trawled directories of php files looking for imposters and .htaccess files, and now, finally, we are up and pouring like the proverbial beans once more.
PS. All fucking dirty scum lowlife bastard fucking dog licking hackers, should be made to run naked through brixton with a sign saying “I hate all of you please shoot at me” with a pineapple up their arse, that’d teach em.
11 comments March 9th, 2008 Kevil
I think we need to liven up this mo’ fo’ because ‘da beans hasn’t seen much action recently. We need another project to do, either a book or some more photos or something else. We can’t languish here whilst other websites (possibly) gain the ground to find the bigger audience.
Start shaking those loins for answers.
10 comments March 4th, 2008 Ian
Hello and welcome to the modern world. As I write this I am 2hours into a 2hour and 25 minute journey to london to see Chris. I’m using my Work laptop and the free Wifi provided by National Express.
In the last 2 hours I have probably looked out of thw indow for about 5 minutes. I have spent the rest of the time surfing the internet and watching Life on Mars. My question to you is… Is that a good thing?
On one hand I have been thoroughly entertained, and have been using free electricity from the socket in the side of the train. On the other hand I have whizzed blissfully unaware past all the countryside of England without so much as a “wow look at that massive flock of starlings” or some such, and I definately havent spoken to any of my fellow passengers.
Is this the ultimate in modern living, or more likely is all this insular technology the reason that society as a whole (at least in the UK and other developed nations) is falling apart?
Serious thought over now… sorry for the interruption.
7 comments February 23rd, 2008 Kevil
Mr. Cockall interviews tomorrow’s geniuses (using song)
Who are you? Wimbly Wednesday
What’s the Idea? Inky Drinky, the thirst-quenching pigment.
What is it? It’s the only luxury fountain pen fuel that can save your life in a drought.
What does it do? For many years mankind has faced a dilemma. When heading off to trek across an arid desert, travelling with only the items you can carry in your right hand, it makes enormous sense to choose a fountain pen as one of your precious few companions. But what to fill it with? A few drops of life-saving water to stave off dehydration and death? Or an emerald blue ink with which to sketch abstract landscapes depicting your emotions as you stride among the dunes?
Now you don’t have to make that choice any longer! Inky Drinky is the ink you can drink. Charge up your Saharan scribbler with Inky Drinky, in a choice of four alluring hues. Put pen to paper with pride, and in an emergency situation, crack open the ink well and enjoy the refreshing taste of Inky Drinky. Now available in black (liquorice), blue (bilberry), red (roast beef) or green (Salad Niçoise).
So what are you gonna do about it? Nothing (!) Mr. Cockall, it’s all in my head >:)
7 comments February 21st, 2008 Chris
How does she sell records? She is crap. All stupid songs about bicycles in China and sailing boats and shit like that. God, she really grinds my gears. Johnnie Walker (yes, radical DJ from pirate radio which I remember sadly, it was in the days of black and white wireless) was playing her this morning and he said “Oh, another good song from Katie Melua”. Is he on drugs? Clearly his recent brush with bowel cancer has got the better of him. And she wrote that pile of shite about Mary Pickford as well. Oh, its really spoiled my day. Â
23 comments February 20th, 2008 Auds
I have an IPod nano and its fab. I can’t use it properly yet, but I love it. I am at last hurtling into the 21st century. I had to buy it as the last time I was on holiday with my friend Susan I only had a Sony Walkman (with tapes) and she made me hide it under a towel she was so embarrassed. Its got 8 gigabytes and everything and bonny coloured pictures.
10 comments February 19th, 2008 Auds