Posts filed under 'Random Thought'
A lot of people aren’t old enough now to remember one of the great wars of the last twenty-five years or so. Some still take precident over others and it is because of this phallic and intrinsic obsession with the Middle East that only a few people now can recall the devestating affair that resulted because of the Coca Cola Wars.
Before we start touching that though let us set the scene. It was around the eighties; texts are now few and far between which account for just how it all began. Two drinks industry giants stood tall, dominating the US and indeed most other countries around the world with their carbonated beverages. But then something happened. Mr Coca Cola was sat in his study enjoying the warm summer breeze floating in through the window when, apparently, Mr Pepsi stormed in and cut his head off with a scythe. When Mr Coca Cola’s head was later re-attached at Washington State Hospital he decided that such an unprovoked attack could not be ignored.
Back at his base, Mr Coca Cola organised his troops and sent three of his Coke Ninjas into Pepsi HQ to deliver a message. This message was fatal to anyone who came across it. Luckily nobody actually came across it because they left it in the men’s changing room that nobody used anymore and when it was located it was by a cat who had been trying to take her life. Mr Pepsi immediately identified who the message had come from. It didn’t say anything other than a picture of a smashed bottle. Anyone else would see this as some sort of poetic visual display but Mr Pepsi knew what it meant. It was war.
(the following exert was provided from ‘Suck On This: Coca Cola vs Pepsi (in a war)’ by Blardy Blardy Bloomer)
December 22nd, 2009
This is what needs to happen with all cows, worldwide. Its reaction tells you everything. Man is happy, cow is happy. What could be more worthwhile?
December 8th, 2009
I have recently been informed that two astonishing new phrases have been immediately made up for the consumption of da beans website. They come aficionado and long-time sponsor Keveel De Heel, currently showing his work around the Northern shores of Italy.
Unfortunately due to his busy work schedule Mr De Heel didn’t have time to tell us what they meant so it has been thrown open to da beans community to establish their meanings. They are as follows:
Sponge Hammer
Cleaning out the fish bowl
Pet away! Pet away!
July 20th, 2009
Do you remember the days when our websites were just endless lists about things that didn’t mean anything?
Well, ours was I don’t know about yours. It was easy, it was simple, it was just plain fucking lazy let’s face it but every so often it doesn’t hurt to re-vist them for tear-stained nostalgia. So to honour another year of da beans’ existence let me present, in no particular order, the top five weird names from the Metro map I saw before going out tonight.
Drum roll please!
- Lamesley
- Kibblesworth (good name for a dog)
- Biddick (juvenile but funny)
- Wideopen (again, very juvenile)
- Witherwack (my personal favourite)
See? Don’t you wish we could all do lists and be happy?
July 7th, 2009
What order should a cutlery drawer be in? Personally I think it should be knives, forks, big spoons and teaspoons across the front. Sarah and my sister think Im wrong, but couldnt offer consistant reasons.
I need more opinions! Perferably enough to put me in the majority.
February 10th, 2009
I need some clarification, some closure and some clothes to cover this naked level of understanding that me, a common beatnik, cannot get my head round.
Last week when I took the boy to school I almost arrived at the bus stop but was greeted by a curious sight. Sat on the corner by the pub was a golf ball. A golf ball that had two turds curled around it. Now I have three questions:
1. Do dogs play golf?
2. Would that be classed as modern art?
And the biggest one of all:
3. Is it marketable?
January 26th, 2009
In my life I’ve done many pointless things, sometimes shamefully so. Among these you can include many of the videos we have made, the countless times I have completely dismantled the Lego ambulance Kev gave me and put it back together again, and the time I went to Tesco in my slippers.
This week I’ll be performing an exercise in pointlessness to put them all in the shade. I’m getting up at 5.30 on Friday morning and driving six hours north to Preston, where I will spend most of Friday and Saturday before coming home. Why? Because the Preston Bypass is turning 50 years old and I plan to be there.
It’s not going to notice if I miss the event because it’s a road, and in fact, it was completely rebuilt in 1995 so it’s not physically the same road any more either. But I will be there all the same and I’m sinking a rather alarming amount of money into the venture to travel there and back and stay over.
How pointless is your life? Share your pointless tales here, my friends, and weep with me.
December 2nd, 2008
I’m not in the mood for something big, brash and showy. I don’t want to be depressed – not at all – but I can’t face anything too brilliant right now. So I asked Google for something “quite nice”.
This is a beach that the photographer thought was “quite nice”.
This sheep is also “quite nice”.
They made me think of things in my life that are also quite nice, and having thought about it, my cheese grater is quite nice. It’s not in any way interesting or worth talking about, but it does the job adequately and causes me no complaints. Quite nice.
I hope this post has brought you a couple of things that are good, but not to the extent that they cause any undue excitement or interest. They are just quite nice.
September 4th, 2008
I’M BORED.
Also I drew this:
August 27th, 2008
Just so you can all get to know me slightly better, here is a long, yet not comprehensive list of the items on my desk at work:
Speakers, mobile phone, Pint Glass (Empty), 3 plastic cups, 30cm shatterproof ruler, greem dry-wipe marker, a box of screws, some blu-tak, a permanent black marker, 2 handkerchiefs, a pot of salt, Adobe Dreamweaver CS3 (Sealed), A desk pad, 4 mice, 2 Hard drive platters, a hole punch, my laptop, a roll of yellow electrical tape, an 8-ball stress squisher, 3 network cables (2 grey, 1 yellow), A Microsoft Action Pack Subscription, blank CDR’s, a stuffed otter, a spen tie-wrap, a calculator and a miniature wheelie bin full of pens.
I hope you now feel you know me that little bit better.
August 12th, 2008
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