Posts filed under 'Think about it'
Hello, my name is Mr Smudgey and I am here to prove to you and everyone else watching that I am the most famous man on the planet at this very point in time. It was close recently as there was a man who balanced bananas on his nose as he read Shakespeare to a bottle-nose dolphin in a telephone box but that was just a rumour. It is time for another reference point so you bask in my celebrity status.
Point Number Two – hiding in the background of the sleeve for the Eagles album ‘Hotel California’.
It’s a bit hard to make out in this but I’m climbing the third tree from the left. I was staying in the hotel across the road which was aptly named ‘Hotel Opposite’. In between my early morning sessions of fung shui and that weird sh*t people do on big lawns I thought it would be a good laugh to look for coconuts. It was only when I looked down to see some idiot with a camera that I panicked, let go of the trunk and fell to the ground. The picture, mfwah mfwah, doesn’t reveal the fact that I spent three months in traction because of it.
I denied all knowledge of this particular exposure because, well, the Eagles suck d*ck big time. I am on a quest for status though so I must lay these demons to rest and own up. Hey, I’ve done worse things.
November 27th, 2007
What could it mean? What on earth could it mean? It doesn’t mean anything yet and that’s a tragic fact. By one little twist of fate, this wonderful word was never invented and has no meaning and nobody to use it.
Today, my friends, we will wright that wrong. We will give DESTICUTION a meaning.
Question is… what is it?
Desticution (n.)
The horror felt when something particularly cute is destroyed in a very horrible accident.
Put your thinking cap on and see if your brain can do better. Word.
November 26th, 2007
Hello, my name is Mr Smudgey and I am here to prove to you and everyone else watching that I am the most famous man on the planet at this very point in time. Wait… no it’s still me. Tom Cruise was close there. You may think you don’t know who I am but boy is that going to change. To prove my point I am going to show you all the various sources of my hidden exposure and bring them to the surface for everyone to see. That way I can be praised for the future A-lister I am.
Point Number One – referred to in the song ‘Mad World’ by Tears for Fears and then later sung by some burk in a flat cap.
“I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad,
 These dreams of Mr Smudgey are the best I ever had”
Hand over the royalties Roland whatsisface, I was clearly the inspiration for that song and without me it would have disappeared without a trace. People secretly bought it for the reference to me. Don’t bother with a cheque just leave a small suitcase outside my basement bedroom window, but make sure you don’t wake my parents up!
November 6th, 2007
Following on from the original ‘Property Company Names’ segment of the website Audrey recently came across one which I believe is an almost, if not absolutely, perfect example of how to name your company properly:
‘Mr. Grumbley’s Window Cleaning Service’
It’s got everything: the guy’s name, what he does and suggesting the possibility that, despite it being his surname, he might not like it too. I’d grumble if I had to clean windows all day.
How about them apples?
October 26th, 2007
It’s nocturnal at the moment. Just after 3am kind of nocturnal. It’s got me thinking about the things you only ever do at night. Things like going to the toilet in the dark.
I am tired tonight and I want to go to bed. Unfortunately I will only be there in another 4 hours or so. Grrrr.
There’s nothing else I have to say so I’m going to make a list of interesting things going through my mind.
- I have quarter of a treacle tart in the fridge at home.
- Yesterday I only spent about 25 minutes outdoors.
- Next to me is an office phone list where all the numbers include an international dialling code.
I’m going mad here.
October 13th, 2007
I was reminded of this word just now and I don’t know why. But remembering it also brings back other memories of things I can remember.
Like wrapping Kev’s car in tape. I remember that.
What can you remember? Can you remember anything?
October 1st, 2007
Look at this shit right here. If you type ‘six wide’ into google images this picture comes up. It’s so proud of being six wide it’s described as being a six wide container. There’s also a six wide colour line truck.
If it were me, right, I wouldn’t wanna know me.
                
September 27th, 2007
I typed the words, “crank weasel” into Google and apparently there’s a game called Crank The Weasel. How odd.
                                         
 This is about as exciting as my life gets.
September 19th, 2007
I think it’s time we were told what exactly has been happening in the world of cameras, Ian, photography, pictures, taking pictures with a camera, the creation of photography, Ian’s pictures, the camera being used to take photographs by Ian, and photos.
I, like millions of others, continue to wait with baited breath for news of the completion of what has, by all accounts, been an epic task at the hand of his most regal sainthood, Saint King.
There can be no doubt that a task such as this – the taking of pictures on a shoddy camera – is a daunting, haunting, flaunting task like no other. It cannot be rushed and it takes as long as it takes. Sometimes it takes a bit longer too.
But we are due an update. How many pictures have been taken? Do photographs remain to be captured? When may we expect processing of said pictures in negative form to take place?
The world is waiting.
September 11th, 2007
There’s just something special about a cat wearing a hat. Today I’d like to introduce you to the megastar of the feline headgear world, Mr Tibbles!
What a legend. Who else could wear a hat like this and make it look so natural?
September 3rd, 2007
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