I think you should do another Clifford because I’ve just been re-giggling at it.
I think with the right publicity you could corner the market on 90 second cartoons.
I think Clifford needs some ampage and your the guys to do it.
I think the cartoon should have some loins in it.
7 comments June 20th, 2007
I think everyone would agree that the government is a bit naff. I mean, they’ve been at it for centuries now, and are things really any better than when they started?
So it seems to me that it would be much better if we started our own government and just, you know, got on with it. Therefore I suggest that, with effect from Thursday 7th June 2007, we launch the Pouring Beans Governmental Committee (PBGC) which will start issuing edicts, declarations, statutes and prophecies immediately for the betterment of the United Kingdom.
I see the governmental hierarchy looking like this, from least powerful to most powerful:
As the PBGC will be above all other elements of the government, I don’t see why we should have to bother asking the rest of them. We should just set it up and get on with it, and they can adjust to it as necessary.
As a starting point, I have been carrying out detailed negotiations with the existing ruling party, and I have arranged for Tony Blair to stand down from office towards the end of this month. I think this will make our job significantly easier. I hope this is OK with the rest of the PBGC.
We need titles for ourselves, and possibly specialised areas. I suggest that Ian is best placed to look after Legalness, the Law and all things related. Kev is best places to be in charge of Technology and Defence (because he’s in IT and the scouts) and I could probably look after Infrastructure – things like transport and housing and stuff. Because we’ll be above ministers, we also need a decent title. I think “god” has a nice ring to it. This would make Ian, for example, God of Law.
Your thoughts please.
10 comments June 5th, 2007
I have recently re-discovered a copy of said document in my drawers and wish to point out the following:
1. Apollo now cracks one off every hour.
2. Doreen the Tureen from Turin.
3. Telephoning hot bitch soup.
4. Dave is ‘Simply Man’.
5. Lenin is Russia.
6. She deserves an ice cream.
Also well done to Kev whipping those web monkeys to make the website come back. It has been sorely missed.
7 comments June 5th, 2007
Today it is Bank Holiday Monday and also my birthday and I am at work.
Therefore it seems appropriate to share with you the history of the great British bank holiday.
The term “Bank Holiday” is a corrupted form of the olde English “barn collar day”, an event that happened once or twice a year in the summer. Hundreds of medieval folk would take a break from toiling in the fields, put on their smartest clothes – the only ones they owned that had a collar – and danced around a ceremonial barn, usually for upwards of sixteen hours at a time. A hog was roasted and there would also usually be vegetarian lasagne, Wotsits and Tizer.
As the tradition grew older, large communal barns were set up on beaches around the country, allowing as many as 50,000 medieval serfs to revel at once. On the Saturday before Barn Collar Day, thousands of them would get stuck in traffic jams on the motorway trying to get to the seaside for the party.
The practice was outlawed by the Victorians as part of the wide-ranging Enjoyment Prevention Act (1838) and Barn Collar Days were replaced by days off in which the public was expected to sit at home and give thanks to god by being quiet.
The modern idea of a Bank Holiday began in 1859, when those who were unhappy with staying indoors decided to use the day to have a holiday in a bank’s foyer, filling in forms and queueing to speak to cashiers through those little perforated windows. The intention was to get out and have a change of scenery, but by doing it in a bank they could be sure that they didn’t actually enjoy themselves. The practice spread and by 1886, every single person in Britain could be found in a bank every Bank Holiday.
In 1957 Cliff Richard sang a special concert to celebrate the demolition of the Enjoyment Prevention Act, and it is now commemorated every Bank Holiday when millions of people try to get to the seaside on what is guaranteed to be the most miserable day of the summer and have no fun whatsoever.
16 comments May 7th, 2007
When I grow up and own lots of land I want to make this cartoon a reality.
Â
This indicates how stupid my ideas are.
Do you want to do anything stupid? Or, if you don’t want to answer that question, say so and instead answer this one: what’s your favourite kind of citrus fruit?
10 comments April 30th, 2007
BOW DOWN TO THE MIGHTY WHYBIRD!
Here’s a little song to accompany her wonderful magnificence
Whybird, Whybird
Why are you a bird?
Did you know I was heard
Someone call you a turd?
I hit them Whybird
I hit them for you
How dare they compare
You to a poo
So you only live on in our memories
It’s better than never at all
This picture honours your presence
Load up the Whytech mother fucker!
The End
5 comments March 27th, 2007
MY cheesegrater on MY chopping board with MY cheese in MY kitchen:
…before grating commences…
…and after the completion of grating.
Great!
12 comments February 3rd, 2007
