This is a heel

 Love thy heel and worship!

5 comments August 14th, 2006 Ian

Locker Check – Number 29

Date: 9th August 2006
Time: 13:35
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead (sort of)

Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Has been at least two weeks since my last visit and still untouched by human hands. Added two paperclips, one red and one yellow, in the right corner closest to the door. Left with no complications. Was serenaded by a man and his banjo playing a curious cover of ‘All I have to do is Dream’ by the Everley Brothers but sort of in a West Country accent. The weather was swift and breezy like my hair.

Random thought: Give me £100 to buy a rare game from America. You know you want to… or do you?

7 comments August 9th, 2006 Ian

Eating Malteasers

I managed to put 32 malteasers in my mouth at the same time. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Jim!

4 comments August 8th, 2006 Ian

Noony

Hello, I am here. I have been bored and looking at crap this afternoon on the internet. I typed some words into Google, like noony, the name of our remote control and got this website http://www.urbandictionary.com/ If you type random words it tells you what people think they mean and you can list definitions of your words too. You might think its shite, sorry.

9 comments August 4th, 2006 Sarah

Where is everybody?

Just as the school’s fall out, the day’s are longer and the buses are emptier where is everyone? This website is as dead as Sunny D!

I stole this from work: it’s a pad of paper. But you can’t see it and I left it at home.

8 comments July 24th, 2006 Ian

Locker Check – Number 29

Date: 24th July 2006
Time: 12:30
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead (sort of)

Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Added a pair of headphones, a sticker promoting the new Pipettes album and a pen with a lions head on it I was given at Christmas. Was tempted to drop said pen in the Quayside on the way over but prevented myself from doing so. Was amused ‘Erudite…’ was still propped up after last time. Left with no complications.

Random thought: Sun brings heat. Clouds bring rain. Moon brings dark. What does Noel Edmonds bring?

2 comments July 24th, 2006 Ian

Laser work

Today I have mostly been stealing this from work:

Clicky for bigness

 

It is a man working with lasers. I reckon his name is George.

5 comments July 18th, 2006 Chris

Locker Check – Number 29

Date: 16th July 2006
Time: 14:05
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead/Newcastle Upon Tyne (ha har!)

Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Added two bags whilst looked at work of Erwin Wurm with four other humans including one child. Took bags back at the end of it. Previously added ‘Erudite Musings on the Human Condition’ had fallen over again and refused to stand up again. Propped against side of locker again. Will expect it to happen again. Re-adjusted baltic leaflets so in line. Left with no complications.

Random thought: If you had a pink flamingo what you would call it?

3 comments July 16th, 2006 Ian

NiSH online

Thanks to Kev having grabbified screen-ness from the NiSH DVDs, I can now unveil the semi-official web presence of NiSH!

In accordance with the grandiose stature and cultural significance of the NiSH series, I’ve bunged them somewhere in the middle of this page.

6 comments July 14th, 2006 Chris

Noos Flash!

A sad day for The Loinsford Academy

Today at 0930 Police Raided the house of Charity Magnate Jerry Loinsford, on suspicion of theft.

Loinsford, 47, founder of the Loinsford Academy has recently been running a campaign to ‘Protect Innocent Vowels being deleted from words’. It seems though that this campaign has not been as selfless as the public were led to believe. Loinsford it seems has become involved with an underground gang, known as the ‘vowlers’, who go around at night intimidating the poor and infirm by singing in a manner similar to this:

“EE-AA-AA-OO-AA-NAMA-EE-AA!”

Police were alerted after Loinsford was seen smuggling donated vowels from his office, in large TESCO ‘Bag for Life’ bags, by Mrs Venuza Medinahats a cleaner in the building opposite the Loinsford Academy.

Police are also trying to trace another member of the gang, known only as ‘Guyverpop’ who is believed to be the ring-leader. The public are urged to contact 0870-BEANZ-MENZ-FARTZ with any information. Loinsford was taken into custody at Felchtown Police station and will be questioned over the next three days.

4 comments July 14th, 2006 Kevil