How goes the repair of my beloved Daisy? Does she see life again? Can she walk through the meadows and fields like all those times in her beloved childhood?
I need answers. Also, due to a lack of funds, the third mission is delayed I’m afraid. It’s piss poor but I might be able to squeeze something out in the next week or so. Everybody sing the Klaxons!
7 comments June 13th, 2007 Ian
Thats right boys and girls… Me!
After my heroic rescue of the might that is PouringBeans, and my return to glory, I would like to fill you in with what went on…
Continue Reading 7 comments June 6th, 2007 Kevil
I think everyone would agree that the government is a bit naff. I mean, they’ve been at it for centuries now, and are things really any better than when they started?
So it seems to me that it would be much better if we started our own government and just, you know, got on with it. Therefore I suggest that, with effect from Thursday 7th June 2007, we launch the Pouring Beans Governmental Committee (PBGC) which will start issuing edicts, declarations, statutes and prophecies immediately for the betterment of the United Kingdom.
I see the governmental hierarchy looking like this, from least powerful to most powerful:
As the PBGC will be above all other elements of the government, I don’t see why we should have to bother asking the rest of them. We should just set it up and get on with it, and they can adjust to it as necessary.
As a starting point, I have been carrying out detailed negotiations with the existing ruling party, and I have arranged for Tony Blair to stand down from office towards the end of this month. I think this will make our job significantly easier. I hope this is OK with the rest of the PBGC.
We need titles for ourselves, and possibly specialised areas. I suggest that Ian is best placed to look after Legalness, the Law and all things related. Kev is best places to be in charge of Technology and Defence (because he’s in IT and the scouts) and I could probably look after Infrastructure – things like transport and housing and stuff. Because we’ll be above ministers, we also need a decent title. I think “god” has a nice ring to it. This would make Ian, for example, God of Law.
Your thoughts please.
10 comments June 5th, 2007 Chris
I have recently re-discovered a copy of said document in my drawers and wish to point out the following:
1. Apollo now cracks one off every hour.
2. Doreen the Tureen from Turin.
3. Telephoning hot bitch soup.
4. Dave is ‘Simply Man’.
5. Lenin is Russia.
6. She deserves an ice cream.
Also well done to Kev whipping those web monkeys to make the website come back. It has been sorely missed.
7 comments June 5th, 2007 Ian
“Disabled people don’t go shopping” – Tina
“She’s one sandwich short of a barbeque” – Audrey
“I saw it on the radio this morning” – Emma
“Can you wash cats?” – unknown munter
“Men’s winkies look like baby elephants gone wrong” – Nicola
Sometimes I wonder how the female species dare to ask for equality if this is the best they can come up with… just kidding 😉
9 comments June 1st, 2007 Ian
I have a new and exciting way to predict the weather. Based on scientific examination of the weather cycles over the last week, in conjunction with the shift patterns I have worked over the same period of time, I have produced a theory which I am calling the Almighty Theory of Weather By Chris Who Is Great.
The patterns were as follows.
My next day off will be Saturday 2nd June. I therefore confidently predict warm, dry weather in the South East of England until Friday. On Saturday I predict rain.
I have developed a second theory as a result of these observations. I have called it the Weather is a Bastard theory.
7 comments May 29th, 2007 Chris
Yesterday at work someone asked what BST stood for. So we took the mick out of her and pretended it stood for ‘British Sport’s Time’ as in the time when sports started and how it was different in the European Union to the rest of the world.
She didn’t believe it but if anyone would like to state just how silly she is for not knowing what BST stands for please be my guest.
10 comments May 24th, 2007 Ian
Hey!
I just realised something. In my quest to find Office Four I was trying to think of other places in Leeds and Newcastle where it could be… and it was staring right in my FACE the whole time. Gentlemen, surely www.pouringbeans.com is the fourth office?
10 comments May 24th, 2007 Ian
Another week, so it’s time for another week of the week! This week’s week is not too weak. It’s 9-15 April 1933.
Sunday 9 April 1933 – Walnut Valley Motorcycle Club holds a race in Winfield, Kansas, where Pete Petross takes third place in the time trials on his Henderson Super X, scoring 38.2 seconds.
Monday 10 April 1933 – Ernest Jones wrote a letter to Sigmund Freud, saying it was a pleasure to hear “your manly and firm tones in these difficult times”.
Tuesday 11 April 1933 – Edward Elgar conducted a performance of his own music which was recorded for release.
Wednesday 12 April 1933 – Montserrat Caballe was born, and later went on to become a backing singer with Queen.
Thursday 13 April 1933 – the American premiere of an English translation of Brecht’s play, Die Dreigroschenoper.
Friday 14 April 1933 – the milk price war continues in America, with shops selling a quart of milk for as little as 7 cents.
Another wonderful week! What are your memories of this highly emotive time?
10 comments May 22nd, 2007 Chris
Hello. Bit of an announcement, I have now completed moving house. To one which I own (with sarah). Woo Hoo!
Continue Reading 6 comments May 21st, 2007 Kevil