Date: 7th September 2006
Time: 13:40
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead (give or take)
Locker check successful. Still locked with possessions. Didn’t actually know was going until realised was stood outside. Deposited a plastic Tesco bag, a slip from a recorded delivery sent earlier on this week and a bus ticket from Tuesday 5th September 2006. No problems with entering and leaving although shady looking man in fluroescent jacket stood outside. Ate a cheese and onion pasty then read through the job section in the paper. Thought about sandwiches.
Random thought: Grapes are the unilateral fruit of the sea. Discuss!
September 7th, 2006
Ian
v. smote (smt), smit·ten (smtn) or smote, smit·ing, smites
v.tr.
1.
a. To inflict a heavy blow on, with or as if with the hand, a tool, or a weapon.
b. To drive or strike (a weapon, for example) forcefully onto or into something else.
2. To attack, damage, or destroy by or as if by blows.
3.
a. To afflict: The population was smitten by the plague.
b. To afflict retributively; chasten or chastise.
4. To affect sharply with great feeling: He was smitten by deep remorse.
v.intr.
To deal a blow with or as if with the hand or a hand-held weapon.
September 3rd, 2006
Ian
I have witnessed today what could possibly pass as one of the worst animated films ever created.
It was, of course, called ‘Help! I’m a Fish!’ where three kids get turned into fish by some “crazy” scientists’ potion. In order to get back they must drink the antidote. Along the way they encounter token evil fish and token helpful companion in this case a seahorse. They escape from evil fish with seahorse’s help, find the antidote and turn themselves back, also defeating and violently killing evil fish in the process (voiced by Die Hard baddie Alan Rickman). They drown him! They turn him into a human, he forgets that humans can’t breath underwater and drowns! This film is like a f*cking U! Then to tie up the loose ends they had to leave little seahorse behind (who had become close friends with the little girl fish) but once they’re humans again they find it and the scientist guy creates some guff that turns him into a proper horse. THEN they all laugh at the end of it like it’s something normal that’s happened! Something natural, not like it’s against the laws of God or anything!
F*cking heathens, I hate them all. Smite them all for me!
September 3rd, 2006
Ian
I’ve been thieving, burgling and extorting my workplace again. As it’s my last day here before starting my new job on Monday I’ve really gone to town with my criminal activity.
I have stolen these two images:
 A strand of DNA, and
 Liebstadt power station in Germany.
I have also pocketed a little mat to put your mug on which says Without a British Telecom Radiopager, you’re just not there. This is futuristic. Woo!
August 31st, 2006
Chris
1. Some jiggy shit (in that what constitutes music for the under twelves i.e. shit that jigs).
2. Some weird, flashy video with a threadbare plot.
3. Minimal clothing.
4. The fit one at the front.
I don’t mind the last two it’s just the first two that annoy me. They did that drippy ballad after the first one but since then it’s all, to quote myself, “jiggy shit”. What’s their new single, ‘I don’t need a man’ or something like that? Well if you don’t then why are you dressed in what would pass as a small teatowel? To impress the lesbians? I think not.
*thinks: just as long as the fit one’s at the front*
August 31st, 2006
Ian
*Removes the image of Marshall in suspenders from his head and continues writing/typing*
I would love to say that they were eaten and torn apart by the mysterious monsters but I don’t even think that I’m that cruel. Tyres kind. Footsteps rattle on the hard road surface. Four characters let what seems like a thousand bullets from their AK47’s, turning the army into a bloody mess in seconds. “Who are you,” commanded Wobbly Dog, “and what are these things?” (more…)
August 30th, 2006
Ian
The streets were lined with smut and filth as far as the eye could see. Everywhere you looked was a junkie looking for a fix or stray girls of the night slinking into darkened cars. There’s no light here. No joy and no pain, only a desire to escape.
Two shadows cast along walls, darting between the streetlamps hoping to stay a secret. “How long have we been walking?” asked Kitty, her eyes awake to take in any hint of danger. Her companion, ears to the sky, murmurs a response, “it’s been a few hours, we have to keep going.” They exchange glances and then continue moving. Wobbly edges then continue moving. Wobbly edges around another corner and gestures to follow. (more…)
August 29th, 2006
Ian
Its rant time again!….
Last week we recieved through the post “The Big Book of Christmas”. Fine you may think, but you’d be as wrong as Pete Doherty….
(more…)
August 29th, 2006
Kevil
I get bored very easily. And when i get bored i tend to drift off the plo……. Sorry, so Chickens eh? Gotta love em. Where would Coln. Sanders be without em? I’ll tell ya, hed be a booze hound in Texas, dancing for pennies.
The top of this post says bored so there was a reason for it im sure…..
Oh yeah, I searched for boring and found THIS article, which is both about and also boring.
So there.
August 28th, 2006
Kevil
Read the first tri-monthly site progress report, produced by the Pouring Beans Administrative Committee’s Progress and Reporting Sub-Committee. Please sign your copy in triplicate and return the green copy to be date stamped. Retain the yellow copy for your own records.
Continue Reading August 26th, 2006
Chris
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