Archive for October, 2006

How to fool someone (if they’re a man)

It’s very simple (I just thought it up). All you do is you say:

When was the last time you got your knob out in public?

Their look will probably be of disgust and they will deny all knowledge of ever doing such a thing. Then you look smug and say:

So your trousers must be quite wet then? 😀

Then you laugh and walk away because you’re cleverer than them and it’ll take them a while to work out what’s the beef. Ha! One in the eye for me. Try it on tards!

3 comments October 31st, 2006

Proper Company Names

Following on from the recent discussion with Marshall about company names, whereby we decided a proper company name must contain:

1. The person’s christian name
2. What the company does

In order to fully comply with our standards I have sought and found one that may rival ‘John’s Replacement Windows’ in the obvious stakes. Yesterday on the back of a bus I noticed an advertisement for ‘Gary Hall – Windows, Doors and Conservatories’. Now this almost beats John were it not for the fact that Gary Hall doesn’t say what he does with the windows, doors and conservatories. I mean he could easily use them to service cars or chase bears away from picnic grounds… it just blows my mind. If Gary had taken a little more time with it he could have reached John’s level but unfortunately he just falls short. Nevermind

4 comments October 31st, 2006

The Eye of Knowledge

Behold the magical Eye of Knowledge and have your questions answered.

Exclusive to PouringBeans! Get it now while stocks last!

Continue Reading 13 comments October 30th, 2006

Doody! Doody! Doody!

Kev, obviously you know what this word signifies/means because you used to say it a lot when we’d be doing random shit for constantly falling. I’ve asked four people here today what doody means and if they’ve every heard of it and NONE of them (three Newcastle, one Middlesbrough) knew about it! :O Am I missing something here?

Marshall? Sarah? Do you know of doody? :O

4 comments October 30th, 2006

Fishy Encounter

This is my quick attempt, if only to get a mere clap 🙂 Please clap, please, it took me, oooo, 5 minutes of my life!

Swim my pretty…

3 comments October 27th, 2006

The Gallery

After much anticipation the next “World Exclusive” has arrived on PouringBeans.com

THE GALLERY

Marvel in its wonderous masterpieces, then get bored and go get some nachos… I dares ya.

6 comments October 27th, 2006

CLIFFORD!

Quick…. Everybody look…. Clifford is here.

CLICK NOW

3 comments October 27th, 2006

How many badgers…

Q. How many badgers would it take to support the Empire State Building?

A. The Empire State building weights 331,818 tonnes. The average weight of an adult European badger is 11kg. So, according to Newton’s third law, you would need 30,102,040 badgers.

Start rounding them up! 🙂

badger.jpg badger.jpg badger.jpg 

6 comments October 27th, 2006

A Brief Discussion – who should be ‘Silly Bint of the Month for November’?

Order! Order!

I wish to call upon the other gentlemen to advise accordingly on the proposed matter as stated above. In order to facilitate a fair and organised discussion I throw the affair up in the air and expect fully-rounded replies of a subtle yet thorough nature.

I propose we nominate Madonna for believing that importing a baby was a good idea.

6 comments October 23rd, 2006

I’m in charge!!

Today there was a bus strike. I knew about this strike but yet was unprepared for the role that was selected for me to handle. The bus came at 8:15am and I got on where I was told not only were they not selling week tickets today and only 50p was required but that the driver wasn’t too sure of the route the bus took. So I was forced to stand at the front with him directing his unsure ass around the many twists and turns of the bus route of the 22.

I could have sent us all over the place but I chose to go the right way. I CHOSE! I WAS IN CHARGE! Gimme power gimme gimme! More more more, now now now, mmmmmm… loin-ripplingly good!

6 comments October 23rd, 2006

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