Archive for January, 2008
Make way, Jonathan Ross, I’m coming after you.
Slaughterhouse-Five (1972) dir. George Roy Hill
Starring: Michael Sacks, Valerie Perrine, Ron Leibman
Adapted from the novel ‘Slaughterhouse Five’ by Kurt Vonnegut
Rating 4/5
    
Here’s an interesting one. I bought this DVD as part of a box set, without having seen it, because the book had been described for several years as “unfilmable”, and then they made a film of it. It had come top of some ‘top ten’ kind of listing of such films. Then I forgot about it for a couple of years. Then I read the book and, some time later still, watched the film.
We should start with why it’s unfilmable. Aside from the fact that a good quarter of the book involves the author speaking directly to the reader, often about the process of writing the book itself, it is one of the most disjointed storylines imaginable. The protagonist, Billy Pilgrim, has an unusual affliction where his conscious mind is able to slide in and out of any moment in his life. He skids backwards and forward as the fancy takes him, revisiting the bits he likes. His connection to the ‘present’, whatever that means, is tenuous.
Billy Pilgrim’s life is not an easy one. Drafted into the US Army while still relatively young, he is taken hostage by Nazis and sent to a concentration camp. After the war he marries a woman he hates and watches his children grow up, working as an orthodontist. He is abducted by aliens who force him to mate with his favourite B-movie actress. The various events that take place in these three very different phases of his life are muddled around in the book as Billy slides around between them. You are probably starting to see why this was described as ‘unfilmable’.
So what of the film? Made from a book like this it could easily be messy, but it flows remarkably well. But it’s hard to tell how much of it would still have made sense if I hadn’t read the book first. Certainly the film would not have made so much sense if it hadn’t come from such a well-written novel, and even then, some of the rougher edges have been carefully smoothed off to shoehorn its strange plotline onto the screen.
As a film, it’s certainly not comfortable viewing all the way through, but its various depictions of the firebombing of Dresden and alien worlds work remarkably well, and the occasional shot of a naked young actress is also quite welcome. But the real wonder here is the performance from the various lead actors – the lead three or four characters are remarkably well played, understated to offset the rather outlandish plot line, and it’s strange that the people playing them have sunk into relative obscurity.
All in all, a brave and largely successful attempt at some pretty bizarre subject matter. Funny and surprising, it’s definitely worth a shot and another easy four jams.
This film on IMDB
January 29th, 2008
Seeing as it’s 2008 and we’re all back to square one on the sh*t-o-meter I want to throw down the gauntlet right now and say, “Look Shizzlers, this is what I want and if I don’t get it I shall hold my breath ’til luminous jelly squirts from my nasum.” Obviously that wouldn’t get me anywhere so I would like to request the following:
1. More film reviews from Marshall (rated by jam)
2. The result of the competition that Kev started
3. Someone, anyone, putting up the second book of ness up here
4. I dunno, some posts involved knitted beavers, badgers and loins would be funky
That is all. This year will be ours gentlemen.
January 28th, 2008
Oh yeah, I’ve been working up to this one *cracks his knuckles* for what seems like ages. I don’t really even need to touch on any sort of fact because deep down there has always been a strong hatred towards her in my loins. My loins remember the days when she was pretty unknown and was striving to sell any records and then all of a sudden that f*cking awful ‘Rehab’ song and bam, suddenly she’s everyone’s favourite British female singer. I don’t see what the appeal is especially when she seems to have taken on the trend of Pete Docherty and whilst letting her health slip is disappointing fans by not turning up for gigs. She’s not a very good role model considering she’s been arrested for possession of drugs and if she’s not in the newspapers for changing her hair colour it’s for more things to do with drugs or some sort of feud.
I’m sure she’s a lovely girl but quite frankly (pardon the joke there, unintended) she should disappear somewhere for a while, let everything calm down and come back. The cynic in me though says to drive her off the cliff in the same bus as James Morrison, Mika and Paolo Nutini.
January 23rd, 2008
Shortest post on PB?
January 21st, 2008
Thank you and welcome to the first annual Mr Cockall Innovation Awards Ceremony. My name is Winky Winkerson and I am here at this third rate, knock off awards ceremony to celebrate the best of the ideas suggested by various representatives across the country interviewed and documented by Mr Cockall himself. The nominees are as follows:
Morman Le Pongavent for his Fish Pen
Eddy Lafawitz for the wonderful Thrusticles
Kevin and Ian for trying to revolutionaise Pep
Susan Winkerpot with the timeless Dehydrated Water
Ebeneezer Cheesegrater for his Nasal Harps
Gardy Guh-huh-de-ha for the uncompromising Extendo-Loins
Spice Cranford for the Chicken Envelopes and
Elementary Westinghouse for her Tasty Hasty Paste
And as the world holds its breath I carefully open the envelope with the winner’s name enclosed. And that winner is…
ELEMENTARY WESTINGHOUSE!
A late comer to the proceedings but she stormed in there and snaffled the award from under the other entrant’s noses. How about that? Miss Westinghouse, could we have a few words please?
January 14th, 2008
So I had a dream last night and I went with Friya to visit Ian.
We were surprised when we got there, because he hadn’t mentioned to us that he actually lived in a big blue prison in New York. So Friya went shopping and I went back to his cell (it was obviously quite a slack prison because they let him out for long walks) and I looked through all his drawers.
Then we went out again and on the way back in there was a wheelbarrow full of corn on the cob sitting in the corridor. Ian didn’t want to steal one, because it’s generally frowned upon for prisoners to do that, but I really wanted one so I stuck it in my trousers and we went back to the room. But Ian didn’t know I’d done it. Then I thought it would get him into trouble, so I went up a spiral staircase to a different floor (it was a boys floor -Â every other one was a girls floor – but luckily the spiral staircase I went up missed a floor on the way) and casually dropped the corn cob on the floor.
When I got back to the cell, it was full of prison wardens, and one evil woman (who was English despite this being a New York jail) was telling us off for laughing too much and reminding Ian that it was a five-strikes and you’re out policy. She pointed above the door, where someone had painted (in elaborate lettering) “One and a half strikes”.
Then I woke up.
January 14th, 2008
Given Kev’s seemingly endless supply of scat-isms I suggest that we put him forward for the next series of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, or whatever b*ggery b*llocks is auditioning around the same time. I mean he can also poom groodles, I mean groom poodles. That must count for something right?
We could make a bit of money from it. The proceeds could then be put forward for nationwide distribution of the ‘Nish’ series and perhaps even a publication of both copies of semi-autobiographical ‘Erudite Musings on the Human Condition’.
January 7th, 2008
I, the Saint King, king of all the saints and their saintly behaviour, have returned briefly in order to convey a message. This message could have been tagged on to the endless VHS message I left played in the building before Christmas but I wanted to tell you this myself. I have found a permanent home at another website that being www.myspace.com/twoofakindyorkshiremind. Even though you have all very much made your feelings about me clear I want you to know that there is no bad blood between us all and that I hope to see you in the future. 2008 should be about new beginnings and being the Saint King, governing those saints and what they get up to, well, I don’t want you to feel as though you can’t come to me with problems and asking for advice even though you aren’t saints.
You shall all have a place in my heart even if yours is only filled with the memories of me not giving you jewels. And I don’t hold it against you that you didn’t come to my party. And I don’t hate the fact that only Sir Marshall returned his Official Form of Complaint. It’s all chunder under the canal.
January 6th, 2008
It’s the new year, and I’m the first bastard to post anything here.
I’m at work today.
That is all.
Happy new year, Beansmeisters!
January 1st, 2008