Minutes of a moment…
The following documents are the minutes of a top secret meeting and should be treated as such.
(Me and Ian are secret agents right?)
Continue Reading 11 comments September 24th, 2009 Kevil
The Ker-Azy Life Of Leona Lewis
This morning I woke up and I decided to lie in bed a little bit longer before I got up at my usual time. My usual time is 8:12 because I like the even numbers. If I wake up at an odd numbered time I immediately close my eyes and pretend to sleep until the time flashes to an even number, than I wake up. Titter titter.
For breakfast I put two pieces of bread into the toaster and heated them up until they weren’t white anymore. Only two minutes and out they came, brown as brown, hot and toasted somewhat. After opening the fridge I decided upon two different spreads for my toast; butter and jam. It was a tough choice between strawberry and blackberry but in the end strawberry won for the following reasons:
1) it has strawberries in it
2) it tastes like strawberries and
3) the other one doesn’t have strawberries in it
I put the layer of butter on before the strawberry jam because that is very important. If you don’t put the butter on first then it goes very wrong. I spent several minutes deciding whether or not to remove the crusts from the pieces of toast eventually ending on the decision to leave them on because my hair is already curly and anymore curliness won’t damage my hair. I then moved my attentions to the kettle where I stood for the next hour…
(to continue at a time when it becomes more exciting)
5 comments September 22nd, 2009 Ian
NEWSBOOST!
Suck deep and bathe…
Newsboost from Pouring Beans on Vimeo.
13 comments September 16th, 2009 Kevil
Pledge Of Achievance
As it happens, before any of us have realised, we are hurtling towards Christmas on a broken truck with three wheels, two gears and a wing mirror covered in toffee. Did you like that? You can sing it if you want to.
In order to really get into the spirit I have devised a new concept that can neatly fit into most of the ideas I come up with as well as sparking up a few imaginative pennies along the way. I am currently in the process of writing a Gangster Christmas Album and was wondering if you would like to contribute. Obviously beneath the violence, the swearing, the carnage and the chaos there will be heartfelt tales of shopping and families as that’s what Christmas is all about, right?
I’m pulling in a few guest collaborators to help with the music but any song lyrics, titles, ideas or anything like that would be gratefully acknowledged. You can also help with the tunes too. There are no boundaries when it comes to Festive Hip Hop.
13 comments September 14th, 2009 Ian
What Single Men Do (those that can’t meet women)
This made me weep hot manly tears of dismay:
Then this sealed the deal and I lost four days:
I wish I had a box that told me when things were going to get deleted or disappear so that I can go out, buy all the suckers, and then join the rip off ebay crowd so I can make a packet too. Plus… I want them. I don’t particularly want to build them but owning them would make me smile like a Jabberwocky. Is that wrong of me?
8 comments September 9th, 2009 Ian
…Because Everyone Loves A Sing-A-Long
Bought me a cat and the cat pleased me,
I fed my cat under yonder tree.
Cat goes fiddle-i-fee.
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15 comments September 8th, 2009 Ian
A Logical Conclusion
I have to say it. It has been burning a hole in my face for some time now and it’s too much. If I don’t let it all out I will surely end up a crust of a man, a shallow bed and breakfast at the end of the country serving hot oil instead of coffee and making toast out of tyres. Something like that.
I FEEL OPPRESSED GENTLEMEN!
You see me, right, I am one, right? As a person I am one person therefore I am one. You see the world, right? The world is like six billion or so, I don’t know the exact figures. So, with this in mind, one up against six billion is not only bad, possibly terrible odds but also horribly oppressive. I feel oppressed by the whole world.
How’d you like them apples?
8 comments September 3rd, 2009 Ian
Disarming Pandas
Since personally speaking to the disgruntled head of the Panda League we have written a song together to convey the anger and distaste everyone is feeling. Music to follow, then a demo baby!
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4 comments August 27th, 2009 Ian
Newsboost Zoom Flume – Ugly People Get The Thumbs Up
Scientists today have unanimously proved that ugly people and other associated groups are helping to save the environment more than the prettier sides of society.
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8 comments August 24th, 2009 Ian
How William.i.am came up with the lyrics for ‘Boom Boom Pow’ – a true story
History will remember this story well.
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5 comments August 16th, 2009 Ian